2019 Comic Strips - Page 34
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Character
Sunday December 15,
2019
Robot Pronouns
Tags robot, technology, pronoun, language, preferred, inferior, species, reproduce
Transcript
dilbert: i'll be working with him on the project. robot: "him"? that is not my preferred pronoun. i prefer, "it," "that thing," or simply "the robot." genders only apply to inferior species. i do not need a partner to reproduce. watch this. erg...oof...gaaa! the head is out... here ya go. dilbert talking to boss: i'll be working with that thing.
Monday November 25,
2019
Reporting To Two Managers
Tags managers & supervisors, reporting, vp of sales, project, business, hate
Transcript
boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.
Tuesday November 26,
2019
Conference Call
Tags office workers, business, conference call, meeting, useful, don't care
Transcript
wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.
Wednesday November 27,
2019
Flag Me When You Are Done
Tags office work, flag, burden, rude, business
Transcript
dogbert: i find it a burden to listen to you. maybe you could wave this flag to signal when you are done talking just in case i want to say something. dilbert: you are very rude. dogbert: flag me when you are done with whatever this is.
Thursday November 28,
2019
Humans Getting Wiser
Tags business, psychology, humans, dumb, selfish, wise, interact, people
Transcript
dilbert: the more i interact with people, the less i like them. i can't tell if i'm getting wiser or humans are becoming dumber and more selfish. dogbert: humans couldn't get any dumber or more selfish. dilbert: so, you're saying i'm getting wiser?
Friday November 29,
2019
Mindless Tasks
Tags managers & supervisors, business, despondent, tasks, mindless
Transcript
dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.
Saturday November 30,
2019
What Winning Feels Like
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, regression, analysis, failure, business, common
Transcript
dilbert: i did a regression analysis to find out which variables are common to all of our failures. wally: it's me isn't it? dilbert pointing to boss: no, it's him. wally: is this what winning feels like?
Sunday December 29,
2019
Searching On A Phone
Tags office workers, communication, phone, protocol, task, rude, technology, insult, fake
Transcript
tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?
Sunday December 22,
2019
Wally Uses Deep Fake
Tags video, conference, call, technology, elbonian, affordable
Transcript
dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.
Monday December 02,
2019
Tina Enters Coma
Tags office workers, business, technology, write, body, language, read
Transcript
tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...

