Director Of Security Comic Strips - Page 34

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348 Results for Director Of Security

View 331 - 340 results for director of security comic strips. Discover the best "Director Of Security" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonians Steal Encryption Software

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Elbonians Steal Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #encryption, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #terrorist

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Elbonian 1: I stole the enemy's encryption-breaking software. Elbonian 2: My phone doesn't have a hole for this. I think it needs an adapter or something. Elbonian 1: Is it time to admit we're in over our heads? Elbonian 2: Why are the heathens so good at this stuff?

Dilbert Is Antisocial

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Dilbert Is Antisocial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #misanthropy, #introvert, #communication, #relationships

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: People are complaining that you're antisocial. Dilbert: I only dislike the people I get to know. Catbert: Then why do you get to know them? Dilbert: It happens by accident when they talk.

Drone Defense Kills Birds

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Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #invention, #drone, #national security, #design, #birds, #flying, #collateral damage

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Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

Drone Defense Has One Problem

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Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #drones, #national security, #invention, #technology, #birds, #death, #environmental issues, #medical

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Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.

Ask The Other Director

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Ask The Other Director - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #reorganization, #logic, #managers, #solutions, #cheating

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Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.

Airport Security

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Airport Security - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #viral video

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Dilbert: My business trip didn't go well. I took off my belt for airport security and my pants fell off. Someone took a video and everyone is sharing it. Wally: This is literally the first time I wish I had friends.

Airport Scanners

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Airport Scanners - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #video, #security camera, #tsa, #air travel

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CEO: I heard you appeared naked on Elbonian television. Dilbert: I did? CEO: The only television show in Elbonia is a live feed from their airport full-body scanners. Dilbert: That can't be true. CEO: One of our subsidiaries built the system. Here's you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #certification, #listening, #corporations, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.

Tina The Whistleblower

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Tina The Whistleblower - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #company policy, #human resources, #whistleblower, #security, #confidential, #business

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Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.

Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network

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Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #malware, #virus, #infection, #cyber security, #obliviousness, #password

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Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?