Hope For A Hug Comic Strips - Page 34

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340 Results for Hope For A Hug

View 331 - 340 results for hope for a hug comic strips. Discover the best "Hope For A Hug" comics from Dilbert.com.

Augmented Reality

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Augmented Reality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, introduction, reality, glasses, social media, history, impressions, dumb, face mask

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girl: my name is ... dilbert: stop right there. my augmented reality glasses are showing me your entire social media history. girl: i hope it makes a good first impression. dilbert yelling: my god, you are dumb!

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Building Codes

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Building Codes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, lab, construction, building, codes, stringent, guarantee, rain, mayor, campaign, sarcasm, face mask, false, hope, phase

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boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.

Reimagine Ted's Job

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Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation

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boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

Alice Is Honest

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Alice Is Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, goals, quarter, unrealistic, honest

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boss: alice, you did not meet your goals this quarter. alice: that's because my goals are totally unrealistic and were created by a.moron. i hope you meant it when you said you want us to be honest with you. boss: i didn't expect you to act on it!

Customers Are Dead People

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Customers Are Dead People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, customer, lists, dead, alive, lie, activist, sarcasm

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dilbert: activists are accusing us of padding our customer list with the names of dead people. boss: that's a lie. those customers were alive when they bought our products. dilbert: did they die while using them? boss: let's hope the activists don't ask that question.

Ceo Is Accused

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Ceo Is Accused - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, complaint, managers & supervisors, subordinate, accuse, inappropriate, crime, hug, defense, legal

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catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.

Online Therapy

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Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychiatry, technology, online, therapy, video therapy, social, isolation, awkward, bored, people, hate, pretend, hand washing, carrier, deadly, pathogen, normal

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dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.

Political Talk

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Political Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brainwashed, business, harmony, messaging, opinions, partisan politics, platforms, political issues, underinformed

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catbert in meeting sitting next to wally and dilbert: catbert: our ceo has banned political talk on all employee messaging platforms. it's just as well because you're all brainwashed and underinformed, so your opinions are not worth the spittle that comes with them. panel shows office building. we hope this change will improve internal harmony.

New Software

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New Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, approval, software, necessary, purchase order, questions, blockchain, stop

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dilbert: i'd like approval to buy some software, and there is no hope you would understand why it is necessary. so just sign off on the purchase and don't ask any questions. boss: is it blockchain? dilbert: just stop.

Tech Support Is Last Hope

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Tech Support Is Last Hope - Dilbert by Scott Adams