Job Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

936 Results for Job

View 331 - 340 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags make ted quit, aggressive replacement, share resources, job unbearable, pants, in same pants

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I hate Ted. How can I make him quit? Catbert: "That's easy." "Hire an aggressive replacement for Ted who will share his resources and make his job unbearable." Ted: "These are my pants." "Are you still here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ytransferred, new job, secretary job eliminated, masive incompetence, resentment, anger, splitting mad, offers new job

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, two things: First, I got transferred to a new job, and that means your job here is eliminated." Carol: "Why must I suffer for your massive incompetence? You worthless pile of stinking crud!" "And the second thing?" The boss: "I'll need a secretary at the new job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags enjoyable job, complaining spouse, enjoy being at work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I make my job more enjoyable? Garbageman: Get a spouse who complains a lot and then have a few kids. Dilbert: Thats sound awful. Garbageman: you won't believe how much you enjoy being at work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job application, increase workload, performance becomes average, excel

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Applicant "How do you reward your top performers?" "I keep increasing their work loads until their performances become average." "So, why would anyone try to excel?" "I use only the finest motivational posters."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags international pop star, downloaded cd, burned guitar, poor, made no money, manager stole

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your last job was international pop star?" "Right." "Hey, I recognize you! I bought your new CD." "No you didn't." "When I say bought I mean downloaded." "Exactly. I didn't sell one CD. Everyone downloaded it." "Weren't you already rich?" "My business manager stole everything." "You could perform live." "Too many musicians, not enough venues." "Now do you make music for the love of it?" "I burned my guitar for heat." "I bought your new CD." "No you didn't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software faults, ship date, future development, coulumn, what to call stuff, figuring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We still have too many software faults. We'll miss our ship date. The boss: "Move the list of faults to the 'future development' column and ship it." "90% of this job is figuring out what to call stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, last job, sued last job, poor judegment, job interview, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Why did you leave your last job? They told me that I have incredibly poor judgment. So I sued them

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags resume, stole stuff, great stuff, caught in parking lot, technically not stealing, buried german tourust, guilty, crazy, admits to bizarreness

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "According to your resume, you left your last job because you allegedly stole lots of great stuff." "Technically, if they catch you in the parking lot, and you give it back, that's not stealin'." "And you buried a German tourist in your cellar." "One time!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job interview, vacation, yelling, bad impression, nothing right, work to death, late for interview

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: You're an hour late for a job interview. woman: You're working me to death! Im only one person! I need a vacation! The Boss: you're supposed to say that stuff after I are you. woman: OOO suddenly I can't do anything right?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low pay, unpleasant work enviornment, applicants, miss old days, dental plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!