Left Brain Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

346 Results for Left Brain

View 331 - 340 results for left brain comic strips. Discover the best "Left Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuses, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?

Social Media Ads To Influence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Self Driving Car

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Self Driving Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #technology, #creepy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My self-driving car quit on me. Wally: You mean it broke down? Dilbert: No, I mean it left a note and drove away. Wally: Did you wax it enough? Dilbert: I tried, but it kept moaning in a creepy way.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Best In The Industry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best In The Industry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #best, #persuading, #humor, #confused, #jokes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.

Headphone Claims

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Headphone Claims - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #false, #advertising, #help, #scientist, #boss, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're getting sued for claiming out headphones cure brain tumor and raise your IQ. Boss: We'll need to hire a scientist to back us on this. Dilbert: Where will we find a scientist willing to do that? Boss: Well, I wouldn't start with the rich ones.

Leaders Have Differen Memories

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

Boss Surgery

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Half Are Doing All The Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Half Are Doing All The Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #employment, #fire, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.

Time Travel By Printer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?