Low Sales Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

353 Results for Low Sales

View 331 - 340 results for low sales comic strips. Discover the best "Low Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

Your Quote Is High

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Your Quote Is High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #computer software, #office, #sales, #sales personnel, #quote

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: your quote is a bit high. can you do it cheaper? salesman: yes, we offer a low-cost option that involves me talking about the software, but you can't have it. dilbert: what would be the point of that? salesman: you're the one who brought it up.

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Reporting To Two Managers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reporting To Two Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #reporting, #vp of sales, #project, #business, #hate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.

Magazine Article

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #publication, #salesman, #advertisement, #best, #company, #decision

View Transcript

Transcript

magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?

Low Self Esteem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #business, #self esteem

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.

Transfer Money To The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Genius Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Genius Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #products, #sales, #team, #shoddy, #incompetent, #marketing, #genius, #correct, #blush

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: your products are shoddy, and your sales teams are incompetent. but there is a theoretical amount of marketing genius that can fix all of that. boss: are you that genius? dogbert: please. you're making me blush.

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

Dogbert Designs Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #business, #headphones, #maximum, #customer, #annoyance, #charging, #port, #guess, #incorrect, #frustration, #fit, #customers, #ship, #user

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

Carol Hoards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Hoards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #office supplies, #copy paper, #hoarding, #shortage, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.