Money Comic Strips - Page 34
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614 Results for Money
View 331 - 340 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 13,
2008
Tags Advice, bad idea, saving & investment, financial advisor, diseased livestock, sick cow, aggregate, math, savvy, education, money
Transcript
Dogbert the financial adviser Dogbert: You should invest all of your money is diseased livestock. It would be unwise to invest in one sick cow, but if you aggregate a bunch of them together the risk goes away. It's called math. The boss: Suddenly I feel all savvy.
Wednesday January 07,
2009
Tags meeting, sales, annoyance, anger, business
Transcript
man says, "Thanks to a new law, every customer In my sales territory needed to upgrade." man says, "Now I wear a hat made of money. The funny thing is that I'm not even a good salesman." man says, "Next week, the donuts are on me." Alice says, "Die! Die! Die!"
Monday January 12,
2009
Tags acting, lesson, occupation
Transcript
The Boss says, "We don't have enough money to fund your project, but I don't want to downsize you and shrink my empire." The Boss says, "I hired an acting coach to teach you how to hang around the office pretending to be useful." man says, "Are you dead or just non-expressive?" Dilbert says, "It's called a 'job'"
Sunday January 18,
2009
Tags questions, business, reasoning, thinking, plants
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You're watering a plastic plant." man says, "yes, I am." Dilbert says, "Why?" man says, "Funny story." Many says, "Your boss replaced the live plants with plastic ones to save money." man says, "My company has the contract to water your office plants." Man says, "No one ever cancelled our contract." Man says, "Now my career is less important than a gnat's toot in a hurricane." man says, "But it's still way better than sitting in a fabric-covered box all day." Dilbert thinks, "I need to stop talking to people."
Tuesday January 20,
2009
Tags business, plan, revenue, excitement, hair, money sign
Transcript
Vijay, the world's worst venture capitalist Dilbert says, "A hundred million people need this type of service." Dilbert says, "I already built the website and people are signing up." Foop! $ Vijay says, "When we negotiate my equity stake, focus on my poker face and not my optimistic hair." Yeeha!!!
Tuesday January 27,
2009
Tags housing, mortgage, payment, unemployed, finances, banks, money
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I can't afford to pay the mortgage this month." Dogbert says, "There's no reason to worry." Dogbert says, "I doubt your bank can afford postage to send you an eviction notice." Dilbert says, "That didn't make me worry less." Dogbert says, "How are we set for firearms?"
Wednesday February 11,
2009
Tags job, hatred, advise, business
Transcript
Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, " how am I supposed to collect money from people who don't have any?" Woman says, "Tell them to rob someone you don't like." Dilbert says, "?and that's my supervisor's home address. But you'd better hurry before all the good stuff is gone."
Monday February 16,
2009
Tags trip, money, economy, stupidity
Transcript
The boss says, "I'm sending you on a trip. Remember that our per diem isn't as extravagant as it was in our golden years." The boss says, "You'll need to use the hotel iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches." Dilbert says, "Will you pay for the bread and cheese?" The boss says, "We'll pay for the bread. But the cheese and free soap are practically the same thing."
Thursday February 26,
2009
Tags meeting, bailout, greed, money, economy, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I'm happy to announce that the government gave us a bailout loan of $25 billion." Dogbert says, "I'm even happier to announce that I kept the entire amount for my bonus." Dogbert says, "Who wants to see a picture of my island fortress?"
Sunday March 15,
2009
Tags problem, ignorance, hiding, budget
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Customers can't figure out our user interface. the boss says, "They should read the manual." Dilbert says, "Our manual is more confusing than our user interface." The boss says, "They can use our onine support database." Dilbert says, "That's more confusing than our manual." The boss says, "We have no money to fix any of that." The boss says, "In situations like this, I like to go to my special place" The boss says, "Someday I hope to have a special place big enough for my entire body." the boss says, "Problem solved."

