Part Of Brain Comic Strips - Page 34

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419 Results for Part Of Brain

View 331 - 340 results for part of brain comic strips. Discover the best "Part Of Brain" comics from Dilbert.com.

Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing

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Co Ceo Died Kitesurfing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #ceos, #death, #emotions, #executives, #bad news, #publicity stunt, #margins, #died, #medical

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Dogbert the Co-CEO. Dilbert: I have bad news. Your Co-CEO died trying to kitesurf some class 6 rapids for a publicity stunt. Dogbert: Get to the bad part. Is it margins?

How You Should Have Engineered It

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How You Should Have Engineered It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #engineering, #pessimism

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Dilbert: Let's skip to the part where I tell you how you should have engineered it instead of whatever you did. Coworker: You don't know what I did. Dilbert: I have five minutes to pretend that matters. Coworker: That's all I need.

Engineers Built Everything That Matters

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Engineers Built Everything That Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #importance, #marketing, #wages, #pay scale, #modern civilization, #need both, #marketing guy, #business, #money

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The Marketing Guy. Marketing Guy: I don't see why engineers get paid more than marketing professionals. Dilbert: Maybe because engineers designed and built every important part of modern civilization and all you did was misrepresent it. Marketing Guy: My point is that you need both. Dilbert: You really don't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #criticism, #perfection, #psychological disorder, #psychological evaluation, #perfectionist, #warning, #not a problem, #cognitive dissonance, #unrealistic optimism, #projection bias, #jerk, #anger issues

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Coworker: I should warn you that I'm a perfectionist. Dilbert: I appreciate the warning. Do you have any other psychological problems or just the one? Coworker: I don't think of it as a "problem." Dilbert: I guess that's what makes it so bad. I see a lot of other psychological problems in your writing. Cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, and some projection bias. But I can see why you think your perfectionism is the worst part. Coworker: You're a jerk. Dilbert: ...and here come the anger issues.

Blist Point For 3 D Goggles

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Blist Point For 3 D Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer retention, #death, #immersive technology, #moratlity, #technology, #virtual reality, #immersive 3d head gear, #starved, #bliss point, #medical

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Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arguing, #email, #expectations, #logic, #sleep, #winning, #work ethic, #promptly respond, #employees, #necessary, #brain function, #succumbs to leadership, #dysfunctional moron, #confsuion, #win converstions, #ceo, #health, #business

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CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.

Celebrate Failure

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Celebrate Failure - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #failure, #credit, #taking credit, #reasoning, #managers

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Boss: Failure is the raw material of success. From now on, I will celebrate your failures. Dilbert: Will you still be taking credit for our successes? Boss: That part stays the same. I'm only trying to increase the contrast to your failures.

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

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In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #work ethic, #existentialism, #suffering, #death, #philosophy, #pessimism, #Advice, #medical

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Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner

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Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #replication, #technology, #clone, #playing god, #doppelganger

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Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.

Bossbert

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Bossbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #robot, #replicant

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Dilbert: I used a 3-D printer and a scan of your brain to create Bossbot. It doesn't pass the Turing test, but neither do you. Bossbot: What's the Turing test? Dilbert: Doesn't really matter. Boss: Yeah, what's the Turing test?