Real Problems Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

364 Results for Real Problems

View 331 - 340 results for real problems comic strips. Discover the best "Real Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.

Reincarnation Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reincarnation Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #motivation, #reincarnation, #death, #fussiness, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert's Life Advice. Dogbert: I've reviewed your file. Your best bet is to live an unhealthy lifestyle, die young, and hope reincarnation is real. Man: Is it real? Dogbert: All I know for sure is that dead people are less fuss than you.

Comparing Things

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Comparing Things - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #giraffe, #solution

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Your proposed solution has too many problems. Dilbert: You're not good at comparing things. The Boss: Pfft. I'm way better at it than a giraffe.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #unhealthy, #exercise, #mouse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: All of your employees are fat and unhealthy. That's why you should replace your outdated cubicles with treadmill desks. My company makes a treadmill desk that requires no electricity. The Boss: What if the employees don't like it? Dogbert: They already hate everything about their jobs there's no real downside. The Boss: Good point. Dogbert: I know. I'll send you one of our demo units so you can test it out. The boss: I finally feel as if I'm getting somewhere.

Wally Covers For Alice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Covers For Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #heat, #thousand suns, #vacation, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm back from vacation. Did you have any problems covering for me? Wally: No problem at all I saved all of your work for when you got back. Alice: I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns! Wally: How was your vacation? Was it relaxing?

Dogbert's Pep Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Pep Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #virtual, #forget, #real, #people, #inadequate, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried that if I spend too much time using virtual reality, I'll forget how to talk to real people. Dogbert: I doubt you could get more boring and inadequate than you already are.

Anticipate Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anticipate Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Wally, #anticipate, #finishing, #friday, #punctual, #anticipating, #things, #problems

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you anticipate any problems finishing by Friday? Wally: I do not. Man: Is that because you're punctual or because you aren't good at anticipating things? Wally: I don't foresee any unforeseen problems. Man: Okay. Wait...

Everyone Else Is Worthless

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Else Is Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #fire, #pawn, #problems, #project, #the boss, #useless, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #employees, #office, #office workers, #training, #trick, #sabatoge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

Wally's Doctor Note

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Doctor Note - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #doctors, #employees, #excuses, #work, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Here's the note from my doctor that you asked for. Boss: I can't read the handwriting. Wally: That's how you know it's a real doctor's note. Boss: What's it say. Wally: It says I need lots of sleep at work.

No Recognisiton

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Recognisiton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.