Sales Training Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

346 Results for Sales Training

View 331 - 340 results for sales training comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Online Class Muted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Online Class Muted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, online, training, diversity, inclusion, mute, course, confess, idiots

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course. colleague: oops. dilbert: you can do that? Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.

Stapler Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stapler Training  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, planning, meeting, stapler, safety, mandatory, fight

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.

Cock Fights

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cock Fights - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, audit, disturbing, results, sales, department, cockfight, invitation, rooster

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered many disturbing things. for example, did you know that the sales department holds cockfights on the third floor every tuesday? boss: why have i never been invited? dogbert: you're not a rooster.

Increasing Training Budget

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Increasing Training Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, budget, training, research & development, company, bankrupt

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to tina: i'm planning to increase the budget for training by fifty percent next year. tina to dilbert: he didn't say anything about the other budgets. dilbert to wally: he didn't say anything about the budget for research and development. wally to alice: sounds like he's phasing out research and development. alice to asok: he wouldn't phase out research and development unless he knows the company is failing. asok to carol: the company must be going bankrupt. carol to boss: the company is bankrupt. boss thinking: i guess i don't need to increase the training budget.

Sales To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sales To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, government policy, sales, sale, elbonia, government, ban, accomplices

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.

Industry Trends

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Industry Trends - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company

View Transcript

Transcript

in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.

Traumatic Story

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, sales, sales personnel, business, technology, salesman, traumatic, experience, child, story, relate, manipulate, emotions, short-circuit, critical, thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

I Can't Hear You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Can't Hear You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, engineer, sales, dumb, hear, inaudible, meeting, long

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice on video call. voice from laptop: i can't hear you. Alice: well, i'm an engineer, and you're in sales, so that narrows it down to some dumb thing you're doing. voice from laptop yelling: i...can't...hear...you... alice: this is going to be a long meeting.

Pandemic Sales

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, high, pandemic, virus, deadly, profit, conscience, feelings

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

Non Disclosure Denied

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, sales personnel, nondisclosure agreement, product, new, waste, refusal, sign, company, vendor, lawyer, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.