Sitting Comic Strips - Page 34

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View 331 - 340 results for sitting comic strips. Discover the best "Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drop by iq, measure of drop by visitor, stay in cubicle, one hour

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert says, "I've developed a new theory of intelligence that I call 'Drop-by-I.Q.'" Dogbert continues, "It's a measure of how long a drop-by visitor will stay in your cubicle when you're trying to work." The Boss is standing in Alice's cubicle. He says, ..."And that's why I'm afraid of bananas." Alice looks at her clock and thinks, "One hour and counting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags burned down, customer headquaters, employee screws up, performance reviews, demo unit

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned down our customer's headquarters." The Boss asks, "Do you have a minute?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags red color, presentation, yellow, set standards, background colors, metero, pointy haired, managing nitwits, ear hole

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "And then I would end the presentation with this." The Boss is sitting next to two other pointy-haired people. He says, "Whoa! I don't like the look of that background color." The Boss continues, "Red says danger. We don't want to scare our customers." Dilbert responds, "Um.. okay. How about yellow?" The second pointy-haired person says, "Yellow? Are we saying we're cowards?" The third pointy-haired person says, "What we need is a committee to set some standards for background colors." Dilbert responds, "What we need is a meteor to pulverize you three pointy- haired, micro-managing nitwits." After the meeting, Wally asks Dilbert, "If you didn't move your mouth, how did it get out?" Dilbert responds, "It came out of my ear hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motor noises, with lips, scorpion king, action figure, personal message with nose, trifecta, carol

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Carol is sitting in her cubicle with a regular telephone in one hand and a cell phone in the other. She says into the regular phone, "So I told him to stop making noises with his lips." Carol turns and yells into the cell phone, "Get the Scorpion King action figure away from your sister's barbie!!!" Wally and Dilbert are looking over a cubicle wall. Wally says, "Now she's also typing a personal message with her nose!" Dilbert replies, "It's a trifecta!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags great vacation, beautiful sunsets, amazing food, descriptions, serve no purpose, selfish attempt, trigger memories

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Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. A coworker approaches and says, "My vacation was great!" The coworker continues, "The sunsets were beautiful. The food was amazing." Dilbert turns and says, "Descriptions of your vacation serve no purpose." Dilbert continues, "I can neither see the sunsets nor taste the food." Dilbert continues, "It appears to be a selfish attempt to trigger happy memories for yourself at my expense.' The coworker responds, "Okay, buster! When my seven rolls of film get developed.." She exclaims, "You're out of the loop!!!" The coworker leaves and Dilbert whistles and thinks to himself, "That worked out better than I hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cruel invention, disposible, evil, fossil fuel, lackey, life, no prupose, no purpose

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Dogbert is sitting in front of Dilbert's magnetic cancellation wheel. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "My dream was to someday decompose and become fossil fuel." Bob continues, "But Dilbert's cruel invention will make fuel unnecessary. Now my life has no purpose!' Dogbert replies, "You can be my disposable evil lackey." Bob responds, "I-I-I can?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags moneybags magazine, ask employees, claims are true, cover story

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Dogbert is sitting at a desk. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "The reporter from Moneybags Magazine is here." Dogbert responds, "Send him in." The reporter sits across from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "Are you planning to ask my employees if my claims are true?" The reporter replies, "Nah, too lazy." Dogbert says, "I credit my success to the foot massages I personally give to each employee." The reporter takes notes and thinks to himself, "Cover story!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bankrupt, company, sing along, weasel dance, business

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Dilbert is sitting on the couch reading a book. Dogbert approaches and says, "I sold my stock and made billions before driving my company into bankruptcy." Dogbert dances and says, "Now I do the Weasel Dance." Hoo-ah! Yee-ha! Woo- woo-woo!" Dogbert stops and asks, "Would it kill you to clap and sing along?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, life expectency, current workload, two peoples jobs, six months, five months, shop, Card

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. He points to the screen and says to Dogbert, "I calculated the impact of work on my health and life expectancy." Dilbert continues, "At my current workload, doing two people's jobs, I have... six months to live." Dogbert responds, "Remind me in five and a half months so I can shop for a card."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags award, family haters, association, anti family practice

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The Boss is sitting at his desk. He opens an envelope and says, "I got an award!" The Boss reads, 'The 'Family-Haters Association' is proud to give you this award for your anti-family practices.'" The Boss hangs the award on his wall and thinks, "I hope no one reads it."