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Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, "My instinct tells me that love is in the air." There's a loud crash behind them. Dilbert and Dogbert walk to the window where a little angel sits on the floor in a pile of broken glass. The angel says, "Whoa! Who put the picture window there?" Dogbert says, "You must be the legendary love-cherub, 'Cupid.'" Cupid replies, "Good guess . . ." The angel continues, "But the proper pronunciation is 'STupid,' not 'Cupid.'" Dilbert says, "No wonder I always fall in love with the wrong person." Cupid struggles with his bow and arrow. He says, "Now how does this gizmo work?"
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, ". . . But I wasn't always a conservative engineer-type." Dilbert continues, "I was quite the little rebel when I was a kid." The caption says, "Flashback." A young Dilbert sits at the table thinking, "Potato salad again? I've GOT to speak out on this issue."
Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. As the therapist takes notes, Dilbert says, ". . . And it seems like I've always been afraid of moths . . ." The psychologist asks, "Could this fear be related to your insecurity about your looks?" Dilbert replies, "I've never been insecure about my looks . . ." Dilbert continues, "Until this moment . . ." The doctor says, "Now we're getting someplace."
Dilbert looks down at a water fountain and says, "I hate this . . . When I'm really thirsty, there always seems to be some disgusting public fountain to taunt me." Dilbert continues, "No doubt this thing is crawling with cooties, and I'll have to wrap my lips around it to slurp the water out." The fountain says, "Hey, I'm not too thrilled about you, either."
Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Oh no . . . I always get stuck behind a truck carrying stuff that could fall off and crack my windshield." Dilbert thinks, "I suppose I'm being a little irrational about this." Dilbert's car follows a flatbed truck with a giant hammer balanced on it. Dilbert thinks, "Still, it's hard to shake the feeling."
Dilbert walks through the cafeteria holding a tray of food. Dilbert thinks, "Oh no, not this cashier again. She always hands back my change right over my soda. I just know she's trying to make me drop a dime in my drink." Dilbert stands at the cashier and waves his hand over his drink saying, "No! No! No!" The cashier thinks, "Fake left . . ." Dilbert says as he eats his lunch, "It's not the coins in the soda that get me; it's that darned celebration dance she does."
Dogbert stands inside the house looking out the window. A bird flies into the window and bounces off. The bird knocks on the door. Dogbert answers the door and the bird says, "Excuse me, mammal. Would you please lower your invisible force field so I can fly through?" Dogbert replies, "That's no force field; that's a window." The bird enters the house and says, "Oh, worms! I'm always making that mistake. We birds can be pretty stupid sometimes." Dilbert says, "Hi, little bird. You look thirsty. Would you like some water?" The bird replies, "Sure." Dogbert says, "Don't put it in a glass; he might beat his brains out with it."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on pillows on the floor. Dilbert says, "I asked Debbie for a date, but she said she was feeling antisocial tonight." Dilbert continues, "Then I asked Laura, but she said she was feeling antisocial, too . . . So Debbie and Laura decided to go to the movies with each other." Dogbert says, "Those antisocial people always seem to hang out together." Dilbert says, "Yeah . . ."
Two aliens who look like cows travel toward earth in a spaceship. Dilbert sits at his desk. The doorbell rings. Dogbert says, "I'll get the door." Dogbert opens the door and sees the two aliens. One of the aliens says, "Greetings, earthling. We are an advanced race from the planet Moothron." The alien continues, "We came to share our secrets for ending hunger, poverty and disease." Dogbert asks, "What's in it for me?" The aliens look at each other. The aliens get in their spaceship and fly away. Dogbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Why do you waste your time reading books?" Dilbert replies, "Because reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is POWER." Dogbert says, "But power corrupts . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . And corruption is a crime . . ." Dogbert continues, "And crime doesn't pay . . ." Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "If you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!" Dilbert stands up and puts the book on the chair. He says, "Gosh! It always seemed so . . . So . . . Harmless." Dogbert says, "Oh yeah, the librarians would LOVE to have you believe that!"