Ever Comic Strips - Page 34

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View 331 - 340 results for ever comic strips. Discover the best "Ever" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bob, #fridge, #ice cream, #ice age, #guard

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Dilbert: Ice cream. Bob: Sorry. I've been really jumpy ever since the ice age caught me off guard.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #substitute teacher, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #powerless, #marble, #statue, #bad, #biggest, #flock, #pigeons, #animals, #animal behavior

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #strange, #post office, #wall, #stick, #tongue

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Do you ever feel like doing something really strange?" Dogbert continues, "Sometimes I get the urge to break into the post office at night and lick all the stamps." Dilbert says, "Well . . . That's not TOO strange." Dogbert continues, "Then I would see how long I can stick to the wall by my tongue."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #universe, #parallel universe, #vincent van gogh, #ear, #beliefs

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #video, #tape, #tennis, #instruction

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Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and watching television. Dogbert says, "You've been watching this video tape over and over for days." Dilbert says, "These tennis instruction tapes are great. I can just feel my game improving as I watch." Dilbert continues, "In fact, I see no need to actually physically play the game ever again."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #nature, #balance, #rice, #weddings, #potatoes

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors under a tree. Dilbert asks, "Do you ever think about how delicate the balance of nature is?" Dilbert continues, "Just one little change in our environment and we're all dead." Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . ." Dogbert continues, "Suppose everybody stopped throwing rice at weddings and started throwing potatoes." Dilbert says, "It's too horrible to imagine."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #android, #civilization, #aliens, #radish-like

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever get to thinking that maybe you are just an android, placed on earth by an advanced civilization of huge radish-like aliens who are studying your every move?" Dilbert answers, "No." Dogbert says, "Me neither."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #helen, #asking, #date, #Women, #first-strike, #capability

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Dilbert picks up a ringing phone. Dilbert says, "Hello." The voice on the phone says, "This is Helen. We've never met but don't even THINK of asking me for a date . . . ever." Helen hangs up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Women got first-strike capability." Dogbert says, "Surrender."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #garbage, #construction, #trash compactor, #brick, #sylvester stallone, #socks

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Dilbert stands outside his lab. He tells Dogbert, "Well, Dogbert, I believe I have solved the world's garbage problem." Dogbert says, "I didn't know garbage had any problems." Dilbert and Dogbert walk down the stairs to the lab. Dilbert says, "I've invented the most efficient trash compactor ever." Dilbert kneels in front of a device and says, "This baby can squash two tons of garbage into a little brick!" Dogbert says, "No doubt you've considered the valuable uses for the brick itself." Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Right . . . For home construction?" Dogbert says, "Or just as an immovable object that smells like Sylvester Stallone's socks."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #eat, #sarcasm

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The caption says, "How to be boring: 'Great Things I Have Eaten' series." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "But by far, the best baked potato I've ever eaten was six years ago . . ." The caption says, "The victim may try sarcasm to relieve the boredom." Dogbert says, "Fascinating, now could you think out loud all of the possible dates this may have occurred?" The caption says, "Sarcasm won't work." Dilbert says, "Well, it could have been on October 6th . . . Or maybe the 16th. Was that a Tuesday?"