Guest Chair Comic Strips - Page 34

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View 331 - 340 results for guest chair comic strips. Discover the best "Guest Chair" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #confirmation, #hearing, #supreme court, #senator, #starve, #death, #downside

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching Dogbert's confirmation hearing on television. A voice says, "The senator has 34 seconds . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I wonder what would happen if you let them talk as long as they wanted." Dilbert thinks, "I'll bet they'd starve to death. But there's probably a downside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dog, #help, #single, #Women, #attractive, #petable, #cuter, #Funny, #impression, #frothing, #john sununu

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "As my dog, I think you should be doing more to help me meet attractive single women during our walks." Dilbert continues, "Try to be cuter, and look more pet-able." Dilbert continues, "And it's not funny when you do your impression of a frothing mad dog every time somebody walks by." Dogbert replies, "That's my John Sununu impression."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #world, #news, #country, #doug, #tiny, #monarchy, #king, #descendant, #deity, #head, #doesn't

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #faked, #hollywood, #minutes, #world, #news, #major, #stories, #string, #attached, #space, #shuttle, #reruns

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. As they watch television, Dogbert asks, "How do we know that the news isn't faked in Hollywood?" Dogbert continues, "Why is there exactly thirty minutes of world news every night? And why don't major stories ever happen on weekends?" Dogbert points at the tv and says, "And I'm sure I see a string attached to the space shuttle." Dilbert says, "Worse yet, it's a rerun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mystery, #movie, #surprised, #ending, #life, #tootsie, #hundred, #times, #strangers, #clearly

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Dilbert stands in line at a video store. The man in front of him hands a video tape to the sales clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk asks, "Why would anybody BUY a mystery movie?!" The clerk asks, "What do you do, watch it a hundred times and act surprised at the ending?" She hands the video back to the customer and says, "Get a life." Dilbert hands his selection to the clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk says, "Tootsie?! You want to OWN a movie about a man who wears dresses?!" Dilbert says, "What?! I thought it was a documentary about Tootsie Rolls. You should label those things more clearly!" Dilbert sits in his chair holding a copy of Rambo. He asks Dogbert, "Is it a sin to lie to strangers?" Dogbert replies, "The way you do it, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #car, #salesman, #Dogbert, #lying, #part, #crime, #pay, #retired, #readers digest, #special, #story

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #lying, #strangers, #car, #salesman, #carlos, #smuggler, #corners, #weights, #hidden, #door, #panels

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I got a job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Does it pay well?" Dogbert replies, "I'm not in it for the money. I just enjoy lying to strangers." Dogbert shows a car to a customer and says, "This one was owned by Carlos the Diamond Smuggler. It corners well, but the gas mileage is bad -- almost as if it has weights hidden in the door panels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dog, #stares, #plotting, #something, #instinct, #people's, #noses, #strong

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Dilbert sits in his chair thinking, "I hate it when my dog just stares at me." Dilbert thinks, "Is he plotting? Does hoe know something I don't? What is it?" Dogbert looks at Dilbert through a pair of binoculars. Dogbert thinks, "Dogs don't like to talk about it, but the instinct to look up people's noses is very strong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #psychologist, #invisible, #healthy, #juan, #cindy, #lecturer

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist and lecturer." Dogbert continues, "My theory is that you can blame all of your problems on invisible people." Dilbert replies, "That doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me. Talk to Juan and Cindy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #giant, #moth, #fought, #modest, #bee, #jumpsuit, #wearing, #hypothetical, #situations

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Who would win if a giant moth fought a giant but modest bee in an all-wool jumpsuit?" Dilbert says, "Wait . . . Who's wearing the jumpsuit -- the giant moth or the giant bee?" Dogbert replies, "The bee." Dilbert asks, "Is this just hypothetical?"