Managers Comic Strips - Page 34

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596 Results for Managers

View 331 - 340 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers " comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Needs A New Chair

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Dilbert Needs A New Chair  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, chair, complaining, criticism, irritation, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Dilbert: I need a more ergonomic office chair. Boss: Let me check the budget. Hmm...nope. We don't have a budget for making whiny employees happy. Dilbert: My current chair hurts my back. Boss: It's no picnic for the chair either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, cost, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, ladder, waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

Fyi Boss

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Fyi Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, email, managers & supervisors

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Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

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Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Making Your Boss Look Good

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Making Your Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, criticism, ego, managers & supervisors, office workers, responsibility

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Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.

Tons Of Experience

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Tons Of Experience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, employment, interviews, lying, managers & supervisors, experience

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Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.

Speakerphones

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Speakerphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, criticism, distraction, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, phone call, sarcasm

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Dilbert: I accomplished nothing this week because my idiot co-workers continue to use their speakerphones in the office. This is compounded by the fact that my idiot boss doesn't allow me to work from home. If you need me, I'll be sitting in my cubicle doing nothing but waiting for other people's phone calls to end.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Best Places To Work

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Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, employment, irony, lying, managers & supervisors, office

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Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Punishing For Others

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Punishing For Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employment, engineering, managers & supervisors, office workers, salary

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Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.