Sales Training Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

346 Results for Sales Training

View 331 - 340 results for sales training comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags matt, Dilbert, computer, mentoring, productivity, training

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Matt, "This is your computer." Dilbert moves the mouse and says, "When you hear footsteps it's a good idea to move this thing around and click it." Dilbert says as he walks away, "This concludes your technical training. If you have further questions just remember you're inconveniencing me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, alice, Dilbert, Wally, executive, business meeting, hr

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "You all know our president, Mister Goodenrich. He's here to answer any questions you have." Alice asks, "Why aren't there any women or minorities in senior management positions?" Mr. Goodenrich replies, "We think women are for making babies. As for minorities, we fear them." Wally asks, "How can you justify your ten million dollar salary when profits are down?" The president laughs and replies, "The board of directors are friends of mine and it's not their money they're spending." Dilbert asks, "Why does the company keep talking about employee training while at the same time slashing the training budget?" The president replies, "We think you're too dumb to train. We'll hire people from the outside if we need talent." Wally says, "I must say, your honesty is kind of refreshing." The president replies, "And you're all fired for asking questions."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, money, business, ratbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair counting money. Dilbert says, "It looks like sales of the 'Dogbert Joggerobic Carpet Patch' are brisk." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, and I'm looking to expand." Dogbert continues, "Ratbert is busy researching new product concepts for the carpet patch." Ratbert holds the carpet patch on his head and thinks, "Carpet Club for Men."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, training, company, overpriced, inferior, products, quotas, illegally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, tina, sales, department, boss, new, hurt, customers, new guy, despise, account, i hate you

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman approaches Dilbert and says, "So . . . Dilbert, welcome to the sales department. I'm Tina, your new boss." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Hi." Tina says, "As the new guy, you get the customers who despise our products and want to hurt us personally." A man climbs onto Dilbert's back and beats him on the head while yelling, "I hate you! I hate you!" Tina says, "You'll be selling to the small business market. He's your best account."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, transferred, assignments, management, yanking, chain, over-communicating, manager, sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, alice, Dilbert, video game, plateau, Kids, outside, diversify, pollute

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our video game division has reached a sales plateau." The Boss continues, "Kids are spending more time outside these days. There's only one thing we can do." Dilbert asks, "Diversify?" The Boss replies, "Pollute!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, company, person, brains, department, body, engineering, snot

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says to Dilbert, "Think of the company as a person. We in marketing would be the 'brains.'" The man continues, "The sales department would be the 'body.'" Dilbert asks, "What's engineering?" The man replies, "The snot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, profits, low, training, class, cute, jumpy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, profits are too low. I've got to let you go . . ." Dilbert says, "What!!" The Boss continues, ". . . To a training class." The Boss walks away thinking, "They're so cute when they get jumpy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, mystery, movie, surprised, ending, life, tootsie, hundred, times, strangers, clearly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in line at a video store. The man in front of him hands a video tape to the sales clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk asks, "Why would anybody BUY a mystery movie?!" The clerk asks, "What do you do, watch it a hundred times and act surprised at the ending?" She hands the video back to the customer and says, "Get a life." Dilbert hands his selection to the clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk says, "Tootsie?! You want to OWN a movie about a man who wears dresses?!" Dilbert says, "What?! I thought it was a documentary about Tootsie Rolls. You should label those things more clearly!" Dilbert sits in his chair holding a copy of Rambo. He asks Dogbert, "Is it a sin to lie to strangers?" Dogbert replies, "The way you do it, yes."