Whose Idea Comic Strips - Page 34
350 Results for Whose Idea
View 331 - 340 results for whose idea comic strips. Discover the best "Whose Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 23, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."
Share February 21, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says "Dogbert's Digital Dating Service." A man enters and says, "I'm a loser. Sign me up." Dogbert aims a camera at the man and says, "Say 'Velveeta.'" The man smiles. Dogbert sits at a computer and says, "Now we digitize your picture for the database." Dogbert says, "I could add some digital hair." The man replies, "Good idea." Dogbert says, "Maybe I should bob your nose and give you a tan." The man says, "That's fair." Dogbert asks, "Whiten teeth? Smooth wrinkles? Hide stomach? Thicken lips?" The man replies, "Yes" to all of his questions. The man looks at the final photo and says, "I look like Sandra Bernhard." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but you have to admit it improves your odds."
Share January 31, 1993's comic on:
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #legal, #department, #corporate, #lawyer, #trial, #judge, #position, #unglamorous, #consequently, #bad, #attitude, #approve, #sued, #trouble, #month, #nromally, #reject, #lawsuit
The Boss tells Dilbert, "Before I read your proposal, run it past our legal department." Dilbert groans. The Boss thinks, "That's the end of that." A lawyer tells Dilbert, "I didn't have to become a corporate lawyer. I could be a trial lawyer or a judge, you know." The attorney continues, "But I chose to work here at this unglamorous position." The man continues, "Consequently, I have a bad attitude and I'm going to take it out on you." The lawyer says, "Your proposal does noting to help MY career. And if I approve it and we get sued later, then I'll get in trouble." The lawyer continues, "In a month or so, I'll formally reject your idea with a neatly typed but oddly worded memo." The Boss asks, "Did he reject your proposal yet?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah. And he filed a lawsuit against me."
Share January 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert, the Boss, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Whoa whoa! I just got an idea that could change everything . . ." Ted says, "What if we LOWERED expenses and INCREASED revenues? That could help our financial situation." Ted yells, "Aaagh! I can't see!!!" Dilbert says to the Boss, "Sounds like a blinding flash of the obvious, sir."
Share January 26, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert tosses a Frisbee and says, "Get it, Dogbert!" Dogbert fires a gun and shoots the Frisbee. Dilbert looks at Dogbert, who is holding a rifle, and says, "Maybe I should just get a cat." Dogbert replies, "Good idea, but they're harder to throw."
Share October 14, 1992's comic on:
The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . I smell a creative idea being formed somewhere in the building." The Boss sniffs the air. The Boss sits in a window in the top floor of an office building. He thinks, "I must find it and crush it." Dilbert and a man stand in front of a suggestion box while the Boss hides around the corner. Dilbert says, "Hey, this is new." The man says, "It's a trap!!"
Share August 14, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss approaches him thinking, "Let's see if my idea of using an electric cattle prod will boost employee productivity." The Boss gives himself an electric shock. The Boss's clothes are burned and smoke rises from his body. The Boss thinks, "Mental note: hold rubber end."
Share April 19, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Dilbert says, "Dogbert, come look at our new car!" They stand next to an automobile. Dilbert says, "It has all of the most important safety features." Dilbert continues, "You got your anti-lock brakes, your reinforced bumpers, your automatic seatbelts and your driver-side air bag." Dogbert says, "I didn't hear 'passenger side air bag' in that list." Dilbert says, "It turns out that it's only economical to save the person who makes the buying decision." Dilbert says, "But I got a baby seat in case you want to use that." Dogbert says angrily, "Well, thank you for letting me choose between humiliation and death. I've got a better idea." Dogbert drives the car and Dilbert sits in the passenger seat. Dilbert says, "Ooh . . . Just wait until MY turn." Dogbert says, "Watch me ram that car."
Share December 25, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert holds a device and says to Dogbert, "I invented an auto-petter machine for you." Dilbert straps the machine to Dogbert's back. The auto-petter has a hand that rests on Dogbert's head. Dogbert says, "This is perhaps your dumbest idea ever." Dilbert starts the device and kneels on the floor in front of Dogbert. Dilbert says, "You like it. Admit it." Dogbert says, "Leave us alone."
Share August 26, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert and his senator sit across from a woman whose head is surrounded by cigarette smoke. There is a full ashtray on the desk. The senator has a "Sale" sign on his head. The woman says, "Mister Dogbert, the tobacco lobby is very interested in buying your senator." The woman continues, "We've been taking a beating from the anti-smoking fascists. I blame the media." The woman continues, "What we need is more attention on the positive aspects of smoking . . . Like sex appeal." The smoke clears and reveals the woman's ugly, withered head. Dogbert says, "Yes, sir."