Ceo Comic Strips - Page 34

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627 Results for Ceo

View 331 - 340 results for CEO comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Winning The Bid

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Winning The Bid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bidding, executives, lying, outsourcing, projects, winning bid, good news, secretly subcontract, scream, presentation

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Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.

No More Than Eight People In A Meeting

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No More Than Eight People In A Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags autobiography, executives, ghost writers, quote, quotes, co author, meetings, rules

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Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.

Blist Point For 3 D Goggles

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Blist Point For 3 D Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer retention, death, immersive technology, moratlity, technology, virtual reality, immersive 3d head gear, starved, bliss point, medical

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Dilbert: We found the "bliss point" for immersive 3-D headgear. The product is so good that 87% of our customers starved to death while using it. CEO: We never get the customer retention part right.

Super Pumpedness

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Super Pumpedness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, jargon, nausea, super pumpedness, bag, vomit

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CEO: The quality we look for in our employees is "super pumpedness." Alice: Blechhhh!!! I told you to bring a bag.

Dilbert Designs Flying Car

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Dilbert Designs Flying Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business decisions, good ideas, ideas, innovation, inventions, managers, rejection, flying car, harvest ion, ion powered cars, selfie camera, sterring wheel

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Dilbert: I designed a flying car that harvests ions from the air to power itself. We can build them for only $3,000 apiece. CEO: There's no market for ion-powered flying cars. Dilbert: I can put a selfie camera in the steering wheel. CEO: Much better. And let' say the car does not fly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, executives, leadership, threat, internet, ruin journalist, off the record, reporters, bar conversation, negative article, criminally insane, brillaunet writer, venn diagram, technology

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Dilbert: There's a bad story about you on the Internet. Apparently, you described a plan to "ruin any journalist who writes an unfair story" about us. CEO: That was off the record! Dilbert: You said it in front of a dozen reporters at a business event. CEO: It was just bar conversation. I was making a point about fairness. Dilbert: Hmmm... but now no sane writer would write a negative article about us. I can't tell if you're a brilliant leader or criminally insane. CEO: I'd show you the Venn diagram they gave us in CEO school, but it just looks like a circle.

Dolphin Lives In Sea Water

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Dolphin Lives In Sea Water - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags animal behavior, animals in captivity, dolphin, exotic pets, fish & aquatic mammals, russia, russian military, birthday clowns, drwoned, seawater, angry

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CEO: I bought a dolphin for my daughter's birthday party. But it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin. It dragged one of the birthday clowns into the pool and drowned him. Dilbert: I though dolphins need to live in seawater. CEO: Maybe that's why it's so angry.

Dogbert Disposes Bodies

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Dogbert Disposes Bodies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dolphin, exotic pets, hit man, murder, murder for hire, russian military, killed clown, dead bodies, disposal, expert

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CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.

Too Much Exposition

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Too Much Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dolphin, exposition, hit man, murder for hire, stories, storytelling, ceo, russian dolphin, militray, smartphone, stolen, mansion

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Dilbert: Our CEO Bought a Russian military dolphin for his daughter's pool party and it killed a party clown. Then it stole a smartphone and hired Dogbert to put a hit on the CEO so the dolphin... Garbage Man: That's way too much exposition. Dilbert: ...fill the CEO's mansion with water and live in it forever.

The Evil Robot Business

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The Evil Robot Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, ceo, evil, executives, robot, sell robots, manipulate owners, titanium bolts

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Pointy-Haired Boss Becomes CEO. Boss: We're going into the evil robot business. We'll sell robots that psychologically manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades. Evil Robot: Your neighbor got titanium bolts for his robot. I guess that's what winners do. But your way is good, too.