Human Stupidity Comic Strips - Page 34

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

400 Results for Human Stupidity

View 331 - 340 results for human stupidity comic strips. Discover the best "Human Stupidity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Tosses Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Tosses Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executive, ceo, delegate, respoinsibilities, punishment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!

Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.

Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, happiness, work, labor, employee, stimulation, boredom, interest, human resources, psychology, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.

Topper Never Sleeps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Topper Never Sleeps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sleep, tired, brag, bragging, braggart, absurd, competition, top, embellish, embellishment, exaggeration, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.

Employees Should Be Optimists

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Next Robot Will Be Intelligent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Next Robot Will Be Intelligent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, insult, intelligence, obliviousness, robot, stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our next robot release will have the intelligence of a human! Dilbert: Will it have intelligence in the same way you do? Boss: What are you implying? Dilbert: I'll bet the robot wouldn't know either.

Wally Has A Sitting Injury

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has A Sitting Injury - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injury, sitting, human resources, complaint, stress, hurt, health, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, strategy, productivity, humane, inhumane, treatment, surveillance, watching, privacy, work, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

The Problem Is People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Problem Is People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, human factor, human error, people, misanthrope, misanthropic, teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I finished the post-mortem on our failed project. Boss: What was the problem. Dilbert: People. Boss: The wrong ones? Dilbert: Don't overthink it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, advising, teenagers, parents, Parenting, tattoo, piercing, terrorism, boundaries

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.