Name Randomly Picked Comic Strips - Page 34
350 Results for Name Randomly Picked
View 331 - 340 results for name randomly picked comic strips. Discover the best "Name Randomly Picked" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 19, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.
Share April 21, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: As you requested, I wrote a VR program that makes users feel as if they are in cubicles. I put only your name on the credits because I expect an angry mob to kill whoever created it. I also wrote a VR jail program in case you want to be in protective custody. Boss: I might need that.
Share October 15, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Can you review the project plan in the shared folder before Monday? Man: Absolutely. Dilbert: I don't see you making a note to remind you later. Man: I'll remember. Dilbert: How many other tasks are you trying to remember at the same time/ Man: About seventy. Dilbert: And yet you will remember this one? Man: Have some faith, Wally. Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Man: What were we talking about?
Share November 26, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.
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Share February 06, 2018's comic on:
Wally: My project was failing, so I pivoted to a different idea with the same name. Later, I'll change the project name to cover my tracks. Asok: What about your sunk costs? Wally: Gone like footprints in the sands of time.
Share February 20, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.