Online (Web) News Comic Strips - Page 34

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344 Results for Online (Web) News

View 331 - 340 results for online (web) news comic strips. Discover the best "Online (Web) News" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Is Not A Quitter

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Boss Is Not A Quitter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #baiting, #technology

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Boss: That stupid online troll is insulting me again on social media! I keep defending myself, but instead of agreeing with me, he keeps calling me "defensive" and "pathetic," Carol: Maybe you could stop engaging with him. Boss: I'm not a quitter!

Wally Is A Maverick

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Wally Is A Maverick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #standing desks, #standing, #sitting, #laziness

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Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?

Homeland Security Risk

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 Homeland Security Risk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #homeland security, #awareness, #consciousness, #terrorism

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Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.

Wally Maintains The Network

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Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

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Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

Artificial Deadlines

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Artificial Deadlines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #logic, #motivation, #excuses

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Woman: You've been promising me you'd finish the web page for the last six months. Wally: This is your fault for not giving me an artificial deadline. Woman: Okay. I need it by end of day. Wally: And miss my dental appointment??

Show More Initiative

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Show More Initiative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #boss, #criticism, #encouragement, #initiative, #engagement

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Boss: You fool! That web page is not designed the way I would have done it! And I never would have explained it this way! Lastly, I want you to show more initiative. Dilbert: Are you still here?

Brains In A River

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Brains In A River - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cryogenics, #ethics, #laziness, #yelp, #online review, #comments, #feedback, #customers

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Dogbert: Being the owner of a cryogenic investment firm is a lot of work. So instead of keeping my customers' brains frozen, I decided to toss them in the river and hope no one notices. The best kind of customers are the ones who can't write bad Yelp! reviews.

Elbonian Ninjas

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Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism

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Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.

Changing The Website

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Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

Cake Is Healthy

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Cake Is Healthy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cake, #diet, #employees, #employment, #health, #health food, #office, #office workers

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Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.