Plan Comic Strips - Page 34
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Character
518 Results for Plan
View 331 - 340 results for plan comic strips. Discover the best "Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 15,
2012
Tags celebrities, wealth, money manager, dumb celebrities, pay close attention, money invested, protect money, money
Transcript
Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.
Thursday September 27,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, web traffic, blatant honesty, money, negotiations, various things, vague stuff, vagueness
Transcript
Social media expert Consultant: If you give me lots of money, I will do various vague things to increase your web traffic. Boss: Wow! I would have been happy with just various things, but that vague stuff sounds great too! Dilbert: And now he's my responsibility? Boss: Don't screw up his vagueness plan because I think it can work.
Monday October 01,
2012
Tags candy, children, engineers, big companies, good engineering, skulk around schoolyards, nerdy loners, offer candy, Family
Transcript
Boss: The big companies are hiring all of the good engineering students as soon as they graduate. We need to start earlier. I want you to skulk around school yards and try to form relationships with kids who are nerdy loners. Offer them candy. Kids love candy. Dilbert: I don't see how this plan could go wrong.
Thursday November 15,
2012
Tags executives, new strategy, nimble, meeting, business plan, business
Transcript
CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?
Wednesday December 19,
2012
Tags executives, public opinion, feel engaged, meeting, appearences, business
Transcript
CEO: Before I make my decision, I'd like to ask for your opinions. It's supposed to make you feel "engaged." Dilbert: And you actually plan to listen to us? CEO: I'm hoping it will look that way on the outside.
Tuesday January 08,
2013
Tags absent mindedness, frustration, design, specs, deadlines, schedule, incompetence
Transcript
Coworker: Did you finish the design according to my specs? Dilbert: Yep. Coworker: Hypothetically, if I had forgotten to mention several features, would that be a problem? And let's say the deadline is still the same. Dilbert: No problem. I always plan my schedule around your incompetence.
Monday April 01,
2013
Tags honesty, work ethic, mission, vision, core values, no clear direction, inappropriate websites
Transcript
Wally: Our mission, vision, strategy, road map, and core values are not aligned. So instead of flailing around with no clear direction, I plan to spend my days looking at inappropriate websites. Yesterday, when you said, "Bring me solutions, not problems," I hope you meant it.
Thursday April 18,
2013
Tags conversation, deception, political reasons, irrational nonsense, filter
Transcript
Boss: Your plan is technically sound, but I have to reject it for political reasons I can't share. Dilbert: I'll come back with some plans that are irrational nonsense and see if they make it past your filter. Boss: I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that.
Wednesday January 30,
2008
Tags financial planner, health care, squalor, diversified portfolio, bacon, secrets, planning, dog advice
Transcript
Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: With advances in health care, you could live to be 200. If you have a good financial plan, only the last 120 years will be spent in squalor. I recommend a diversified portfolio. And bacon."
Monday March 17,
2008
Tags soul crushing negativity, humanity final chapter, darkness, anticipating
Transcript
Dilbert: That's my plan. Now I'd like to open the floor to your soul-crushing negativity. Jesus: You have written humanity's final chapter!" Tina: Darkness stalks us!" "I'll never know love!" Man: Anticipating it didn't help.

