Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 34
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1000 Results for Waste Time
View 331 - 340 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 24,
2011
Tags fraternization, joking, agenda, know anything, important he is, like his jokes, late for dinner, jokes, table, meeting, laughter, business
Transcript
Boss: The first thing on the agenda... Dilbert: Hold on. I don't know anything about this guy. Boss: What's the difference? Dilbert: I need to know how important he is. Should I pretend to like his jokes? Should I nod in agreement no matter what he says? Man: You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner. Dilbert: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope I didn't waste that.
Wednesday May 11,
2011
Tags computer software, internet & world wide web, coding, paywall, website, wrote script, new content, idea to eliminate, revenue, lowered costs, technology
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.
Thursday May 19,
2011
Tags embarrassment, printmaking, printer prowler, spots activity, minions
Transcript
Boss: The printer prowler spots activity. It's time to see what the minions are working on. They're on to me.
Monday January 10,
2011
Tags honesty, meat, question and answer, meat bags, boss and emplyee, realtionship, office
Transcript
Dilbert says, "In this country, it is customary to respond to a question with somehting called an 'answer.'" Dilbert says, "Your approach is more like what I would expect to see if clothing were used as bags for meat." Dilbert says, "Now I will ask my question a seventh time..." The Boss says, "Stop saying what you're thinking."
Wednesday January 19,
2011
Tags annoyance, interviews, wages, interviewing, salary range, reveal nature of job, current salary, interviewing me, evil or inconsiderate, current job, test the commute, money
Transcript
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."
Tuesday March 15,
2011
Tags gloating, meetings, idea, rejected idea, being impractical, take credit, noticing, implied your a moron, appreciated
Transcript
Coworker says, "I thought of your idea a year ago and rejected it for being impractical." Dilbert says, "Did you just take credit for my idea and diss it at the same time?" Coworker says, "Thanks for noticing." The Boss says, "He also cleverly implied that you're a moron." Coworker says, "It feels good to be appreciated!"
Sunday May 15,
2011
Tags dating, restaurants, filling survey, surveys, guilty, date, dinner, restaurant, Food, favorite restaurant, romance, waiter, pick up waiter, ruined, relationships
Transcript
Waiter: Would you mind filling out this customer survey so we know how we're doing? Dilbert: I don't have time to fill out surveys about everything I do. But you're making me feel guilty about not doing it. Oh no! You turned a good customer experience into something ugly. It's getting all awkward and I'm looking like a big jerk in front my date. Now I can never again eat here because I'm afraid of what you'll do to my food. You've ruined my favorite restaurant, as well as my chance of romance with this woman. Waiter: ... favorite restaurant... Woman: What are you doing later?
Tuesday June 28,
2011
Tags annoyance, cruelty, impossible, totally worthless, vacations
Transcript
Alice: It's impossible to get anything done this time of year because everyone who isn't totally worthless is on vacation. Dilbert: None taken.
Sunday July 10,
2011
Tags anger, quarreling, mastered art, being useless, next level, toxic, toxic people, complain, personal problems
Transcript
Dogbert: Each of you has already mastered the art of being useless at work. It's time to take it to the next level. Today I will teach you how to be toxic. Toxic people talk about two types of things. One: bring up topics that are sure to cause others to fight. Two: complain about your personal problems at every opportunity. Your homework is to practice at work tomorrow. Wally: I mentioned to Alice that you think her plan is kind of lame.
Friday July 15,
2011
Tags magic, supernatural practices, sacred dance, cucbicle, useful by comparison
Transcript
Dilbert: It is time for the sacred dance of the cubicle. Hi-aw-ah-hee hu-ha-ya-ya wa-ha-ya-yi. That should make everything I do today seem useful by comparison.


