2001 Comic Strips - Page 34
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Character
Tuesday November 27,
2001
Tags dogcart airplines, flight exits, 35 hours, flight delayed, weather, direct sunlight
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert Airlines. A disheveled customer says to Dogbert, "I've been waiting for 35 hours. Are you sure my flight exists?" Dogbert responds, "According to my computer your flight is delayed by weather." The customer asks, "What kind of weather?" Dogbert responds, "Our planes can't handle direct sunlight."
Wednesday November 28,
2001
Tags 35th of month, earned dogbert miles, live in terminal, permafrost, primitive society, south pole, dogbert airlines
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert Airlines. Dogbert announces into a microphone, "Attention travelers! Our hub at the South Pole is experiencing permafrost." The customers look alarmed as they listen to the loud speaker. Dogbert's voice continues, "Please form a primitive society and live in the terminal forever." Dogbert continues into the microphone, "The good news is that you'll earn six 'Dogbert Miles' that can be used on the 35th of every month."
Thursday November 29,
2001
Tags congressional hearings, airline, inhumane service, ratbert
Transcript
Headline: Congressional Hearings. A grim panel sits in front of microphones. One man says, "Your airline is accused of providing inhumane service. How do you respond?" Dogbert replies, "Sometimes I wag and sometimes I hold up my paw and say, 'Bah!'" Ratbert adds, "Bah!" Dogbert turns to the rat and says, "You're not allowed to say Bah. Take it back." Ratbert says quietly, "Hab."
Friday November 30,
2001
Tags think aloud, cost, monkeys, swallow tongue, distarctions, stream of consciousness
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, let me think aloud for a minute." The Boss continues, "The cost will be $3,000... losing focus... monkeys are funny... my tongue is digesting in my mouth." The Boss concludes, "That didn't help as much as I had hoped."
Saturday December 01,
2001
Tags fired, can't pay rent, live in cubicle, fires, become cannibal, regrets later
Transcript
The Boss stands in front of an employee. The employee exclaims, "I'm fired?!! Now I can't pay my rent!" The employee asks, "Would it be okay if I lived here in my cubicle?" The Boss responds, "I don't see why not." The employee asks, "Can I have fires and become a cannibal?" The Boss responds, "Well, I might regret this later......"
Sunday December 02,
2001
Tags layoffs, cruel to fire friday, employee appreciation day, employee of the month, evil catbert
Transcript
Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. The Boss asks, "When should we do the layoffs?" Catbert responds, "Experts say that Friday is the cruelest day of the week to fire people." Catbert continues, "So let's do it Friday." The Boss responds, "Friday is our Employee Appreciation Day." Catbert gasps, "Ah-Ah Ah-Wooo!!!" The Boss is alarmed. He asks, "What was that?" Catbert responds, "You don't want to know." The Boss hands an award to an employee and says, "Congratulations on being named Employee of the Month." The Boss continues, "Now.. you know how some months are shorter than others?" Catbert gasps, "Ah-ah wooo!!"
Monday December 03,
2001
Tags scheduling a meeting, week include, using conference room, milled around, used another room
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, and Dilbert are in a meeting. Wally says, "My accomplishments for the week include scheduling a meeting." Wally continues, "But some people were using the conference room so we milled around for a while and gave up." The Boss responds, "You could have used another room." Wally replies, "What part of 'gave up' is confusing you?"
Tuesday December 04,
2001
Tags reserve conference room, everyday, next year, sociopath, beat you to it, slowest sociopath
Transcript
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, reserve the conference room every day for the next day in case I need it." Carol responds, "You're too late. Some other sociopath had the same idea and beat you to it." As The Boss walks away he thinks to himself, "I hate being the slowest sociopath."
Wednesday December 05,
2001
Tags manage time, high priorities, low priorities, freakin loser
Transcript
Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk. Dogbert says, "I can teach you to manage your time more efficiently." Dogbert continues, "Put all of your high priorities on one list and your low priorities on another." Dogbert finishes, "Then do everything on both lists even if it kills you. Otherwise you're a freakin' loser."
Thursday December 06,
2001
Tags gifts under $25, rules are rules, worth, $26
Transcript
Dilbert holds a gift. He says to a salesman, "Thank you, but I can only accept gifts under $25. How much is this?" The salesman replies, "$26." Dilbert hands the gift back to the salesman and says, "Well, thanks anyway." The salesman responds, "Rules are rules." Alice is holding the gift. She says, "You're a very nice for a salesperson. But how much is this worth?" The salesman replies slyly, "$26. Why?"


