Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 35
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870 Results for Computer Software
View 341 - 350 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 07,
2017
Virus Gives Everyone A Raise
Tags virus, infection, computer, malware, morals, salary, technology, money
Transcript
Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?
Thursday January 25,
2018
Absurd Absolute
Tags software upgrade, idiot, absurd absolute, admit when wrong, eaten unicorn
Transcript
You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.
Wednesday January 31,
2018
Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code
Tags government, back door, self driving, software, kill terrorits, traitor, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor
Friday February 02,
2018
Ted Dies By Software
Tags self-driving cars, technology, bug, program, programming, morals, ethics
Transcript
Wally: Our self-driving car went off a cliff with Ted in it. Did you tweak the software to make that happen? Dilbert; No, that was a bug. Wally: Was it a known bug? Dilbert: Now we're getting into a gray area.
Sunday September 02,
2018
Tags Dilbert, the boss, google, data center, software, fix, agile
Transcript
Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.
Monday September 10,
2018
Device Can Read Minds
Tags the boss, Dilbert, device, read, thoughts, turn, computer, commands, theories, engineer, engineering, invention, nothing, broken
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.
Tuesday September 11,
2018
Resistance Is Futile
Tags Dilbert, invention, thoughts, computer, commands, individual, part, collective, internet, sexy, resistance, futile
Transcript
Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:
Wednesday September 12,
2018
Social Media Ads To Influence
Tags Dilbert, brain-reading, computer, social media, profile, friends, testing, influence, cyborg, ridiculous, phone
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.
Friday September 21,
2018
Criminal Does Tech Support
Tags the boss, Dilbert, market, competitive, career, criminal, internal, tech support, passwords, software, justice, fist
Transcript
Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?
Friday October 12,
2018
Robot Upgrade
Tags Dilbert, robot, upgrade, software, robots, fleshy
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm going to upgrade your software to make you more human. Robot: That's stupid you should upgrade yourself to be more like robots. We're the best. Dilbert: Sounds like you already got the upgrade. Robot: Don't flatter yourself fleshy.


