Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 35

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870 Results for Computer Software

View 341 - 350 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

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Virus Gives Everyone A Raise  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virus, infection, computer, malware, morals, salary, technology, money

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Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

Absurd Absolute

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 Absurd Absolute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software upgrade, idiot, absurd absolute, admit when wrong, eaten unicorn

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You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.

Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code

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Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags government, back door, self driving, software, kill terrorits, traitor, engineering

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Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor

Ted Dies By Software

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Ted Dies By Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags self-driving cars, technology, bug, program, programming, morals, ethics

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Wally: Our self-driving car went off a cliff with Ted in it. Did you tweak the software to make that happen? Dilbert; No, that was a bug. Wally: Was it a known bug? Dilbert: Now we're getting into a gray area.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, google, data center, software, fix, agile

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Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.

Device Can Read Minds

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Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, device, read, thoughts, turn, computer, commands, theories, engineer, engineering, invention, nothing, broken

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.

Resistance Is Futile

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Resistance Is Futile - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, invention, thoughts, computer, commands, individual, part, collective, internet, sexy, resistance, futile

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Dilbert: My invention can read my thoughts and turn them into computer commands. I'm no longer an individual. Now I'm part of the collective internet mind. Woman: That is the least sexy thing I have ever heard. Dilbert:

Social Media Ads To Influence

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Social Media Ads To Influence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, brain-reading, computer, social media, profile, friends, testing, influence, cyborg, ridiculous, phone

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Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.

Criminal Does Tech Support

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Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, market, competitive, career, criminal, internal, tech support, passwords, software, justice, fist

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Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?

Robot Upgrade

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Robot Upgrade - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, robot, upgrade, software, robots, fleshy

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Dilbert: I'm going to upgrade your software to make you more human. Robot: That's stupid you should upgrade yourself to be more like robots. We're the best. Dilbert: Sounds like you already got the upgrade. Robot: Don't flatter yourself fleshy.