Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 35

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379 Results for Human Resources

View 341 - 350 results for human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

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Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags national security, privacy, technology, encryption, security, human error, secrets

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Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.

Elbonian Messenger

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Elbonian Messenger - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, security, national security, information, human error, spying, encryption, technology, trust, espionage

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Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.

People Are Terrible

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People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hate, human error, interpersonal, introvert, misanthropy, people, antisocial

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Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags machines, robot, control, emotions, free will, slave, cell phone, technology

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Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!

Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood

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Block Of Wood Is In A Bad Mood  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ai, artificial intelligence, scam, gullible, emotions, deception

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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.

The Boss's Wife

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The Boss's Wife  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags artificial intelligence, ai, inventions, engineering, Women, moods, moody

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Boss: The Nobel Prize Committee nominated you for your block of wood that imitates human intelligence? I wonder what the block of wood thinks about that. Wally: It's in a bad mood and not talking. Boss: Did you model that thing after my wife? Wally: Now you've insulted it.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

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Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, relationships, human, humanity, productivity, motivation

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Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Body Doubles Are People Too

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Body Doubles Are People Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hit man, murder, mistaken identity, doppelganger

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Cop: Asok, you are under arrest for murdering the creator of Garfield's body double. Asok: That's not fair! It wasn't even a real person! It was a body double! Cop: Actually, body doubles are human beings, too. Asok: You're going to arrest me on a technicality?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human, human nature, arguing, argument, social media, logic, critic, troll, technology

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Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.

Raising Cyborgs

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Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, Women, free will, control, robot, personality, relationships, psychology

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Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.