Three Readers Comic Strips - Page 35

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358 Results for Three Readers

View 341 - 350 results for three readers comic strips. Discover the best "Three Readers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Teaching Ai To Flirt

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Teaching Ai To Flirt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bank, business, office, office workers, robot

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dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m

Counting Morons

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Counting Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, moron

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office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, rules, quotes, chaos, purchasing

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purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.

Boss Needs Copies

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Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, frustrated, irritation, office, office workers

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Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

Multiple Choice

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Multiple Choice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, managers & supervisors, options, reply, business

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dilbert: i sent you an email with three options, and you replied "yes" boss: i don't remember it. send it to me again dilbert: oookay email: which option do you prefer? boss types: yes

Boss Helps

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Boss Helps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, deadline, interruption, business, new, task, priority

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boss: why isn't your project done yet? dilbert: because every time i walk past your office you give me three new tasks and tell men they are my highest priority. boss: i was hoping you didn't know why. dilbert: hire someone dumber next time.

Upgrade Schedule

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Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vendor, network, upgrade, allocating, technology

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vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

Ted Talks Might Take Your Job

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Ted Talks Might Take Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, social media, technology, instagram, ted talks, smart, moron

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boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.

To Do List

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To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, list, self management, success, tasks, to do list, Win

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dilbert thinking: i accomplished fifteen tasks on my to-do list today. that leaves only seven hundred tasks, not counting the twenty-three i added today. dilbert to dogbert: i wonder what winning feels like. dogbert: it's great.

Working At Home

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Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accomplished, business, fort, goof, health, home, version, working, coronavirus

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day one of working from home dilbert thinking: i'm getting a lot done. day two of working from home dilbert thinking laying on the couch: if i goofed off a little, would anyone know? day three of working from home dogbert: lame fort. dilbert under fort made from couch cushions and blanket: it's version 1.0.