2007 Comic Strips - Page 35

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #next project, #private shuttle, #moon, #innocent tourists, #vacuum of psce, #rationalizations

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The boss: "Our next project is building a private shuttle to the moon." "Now if you make any mistakes, innocent tourists will perish in the vacuum of space." Dilbert: "We need to work on our rationalizations." Wally: "Is anyone really 'innocent'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #private moon shuttle, #3 months, #doom inevitable, #scapegoat, #blame, #project, #never getting finsihed

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Dilbert: "My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." Dogbert: "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." Dilbert: "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intern, #test pilot, #new moon, #shuttle prototype, #wiser, #monkey on first flight

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The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prototype, #perfectly safe, #grim reaper, #works for free

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The boss: "Don't worry, Asok. The prototype is perfectly safe." The boss: "I found you a co-pilot. He's a bit grim, but he works for free." Copilot: "Hey, I wonder what this button does."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ask the intern, #died, #moon shuttle, #sample of dna, #jar, #reincarnate to clone, #jar missing, #needed for candy

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The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prototype, #killed asok, #clone, #reincarnate, #snack jar, #snicker, #feel nuts

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"Your prototype killed Asok. That means it is your job to clone him and hope he reincarnates into the clone." "Carol used his DNA container for a snack jar, so be careful." "Why do I feel nuts?" "You're part snickers bar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #reincarnation, #snicker part, #half man, #half snack, #studied guided reincarnation, #shape shifting, #indian institute, #technology, #medical

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Dilbert: "Asok died in a work-related accident. His disaster recovery plan was to reincarnate into his own clone." "You are his clone, but your DNA got mixed up with a snickers bar. You are doomed to walk the earth as half man, half snack." "Rrrrr" Asok: "Phew! It is lucky I studied guided reincarnation and advanced shape-shifting at the Indian Institute of Technology."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead for week, #managed reincarnation, #own clone, #shapeshifting skills, #snicker bar, #cable guy, #waited at house, #equivalent

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Asok: "I was dead for a week, but I managed to reincarnate into my own clone and use my shapeshifting skills to look less like a snickers bar." Carol: "I once waited four hours for a cable tv guy to show up at my house." Asok: "Those stories are no equivalent." Carol: "It's subjective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffe pot, #coffee stand, #offcie, #yell, #order coffee, #quality of life, #taste better

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Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #network changes, #on vacation, #3 weeks, #russian submarine, #arctic circle, #blank screen, #coincidence

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Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."