Anti Management Cartoons Comic Strips - Page 35

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

398 Results for Anti Management Cartoons

View 341 - 350 results for anti management cartoons comic strips. Discover the best "Anti Management Cartoons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Manager Of The Year Award

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attendance, #manager, #management, #laissez faire, #cause and effect, #award, #accolade

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.

Sense Of Awe

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sense Of Awe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #executives, #leader, #leadership, #overwork, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!

Employees Keep Agreeing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

That's Motivation Not Stalking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
That's Motivation Not Stalking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliment, #managers, #jargon, #sincerity, #insincere, #motivation, #motivate, #annoyance, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.

Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot` - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posture, #mascot, #success, #hunchback, #work ethic, #reward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.

Duplicating Effort

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Duplicating Effort - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #productivity, #absent mindedness, #forgetful, #duplicate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Great update, Ted. Now let's hear what Dilbert did this week. Dilbert: I unnecessarily duplicated Ted's work because you forgot you asked bot of us to do the same task. Boss: And how about Alice? Alice: You're three for three.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #managers, #training, #obstacle, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #honesty, #competition, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.