Help Comic Strips - Page 35
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Character
424 Results for Help
View 341 - 350 results for help comic strips. Discover the best "Help" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 26,
2015
Boss Survives Fall From Bridge
Saturday September 12,
2015
Writing Code In Spare Time
Monday January 04,
2016
Boss Offers To Help
Tags deadline, help, manager, incompetent, obliviousness, extension
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.
Friday February 19,
2016
Catbert Will Not Help Children
Tags reasoning, judgment, company policy, rules, regulations, rigid, stringent, inflexible
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.
Thursday March 03,
2016
Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors
Tags apathy, assist, favor, guest artist, help, helpful, laziness, john glynn
Transcript
Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.
Wednesday March 16,
2016
Dogbert's Negotiating Class
Tags book, deal, negotiating, negotiation, self help, guest artist, josh shipley
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.
Sunday April 10,
2016
Tags communication, managers, training, obstacle, laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.
Thursday May 19,
2016
Wally The Thought Leader
Tags title, leadership, work ethic, laziness, strategy, ruse
Transcript
Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.
Thursday August 04,
2016
Drone Defense System
Wednesday August 10,
2016
God Helps Those Who Help Themselves
Tags help, assistance, sayings, adage, divine intervention, laziness
Transcript
Man: Can you get me that data by Friday? Wally: They say "God helps those who help themselves." Man: So... you won't help? Wally: I'm waiting for you to go first. Man: And then you'll help? Wally: No, the order is you, then God, then me.


