Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 35

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434 Results for Long Nose

View 341 - 350 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coaching, deception, laziness, mentor, mentoring, strategy, work ethic, taper, key to winning, new job, long hours, good first impression, taker off, working smarter

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Wally: Asok, the key to winning at your job is the taper. Asok: Taper? Wally: At the start of any new job, you want to put in long hours and create a good first impression. Then you should start to gradually taper off your effort. But be sure you taper slowly. You don't want to be obvious. Boss: Wally, is it my imagination, or are you working slightly less every day? Wally: It only looks that way because I'm working smarter, not harder. Just the way you taught me. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Wally: Always keep that round in the chamber. Asok: You scare me, but in a good way.

What Phase Of The Project

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What Phase Of The Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, insulting, project, questioning

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Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.

Ceo Returns From The Afterlife

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Ceo Returns From The Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags afterlife, angel, ceos, demon, evil, executives, good, good vs. evil, returning from the dead

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CEO: I returned from the afterlife and I'm taking back my job as CEO. Dilbert: So... you're an angel? CEO: I set all of the thermostats to 140 degrees. Let's see how long it takes you to answer your own question.

Ceo Inflates His Own Head

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Ceo Inflates His Own Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bonus, ceos, competition, executives, height, money, salary, wages

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Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

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Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring

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CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

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In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, work ethic, existentialism, suffering, death, philosophy, pessimism, Advice, medical

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Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

Working Sixty Hours A Week

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Working Sixty Hours A Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, hours, workload, interpretation, negativity

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Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships

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Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

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Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags walking, meeting, meetings, accident, difficult, gimmick, manager, idea, ideas, distraction, Sports, business

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Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

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Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accident, falling, walking, help, emergency, apathy, Sports

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Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.