Lower Pay Comic Strips - Page 35

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

389 Results for Lower Pay

View 341 - 350 results for lower pay comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #hr, #funeral, #time off, #bereavement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take some bereavement time, with pay, because my cousin Ronnie died. Catbert: Cousins don't count unless you married one. Wally: We were domestic partners. What's the police on that, you bigot?

Wally Pays It Not Forward

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Pays It Not Forward - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #philosophy, #life lesson, #gratitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have a philosophy for life? Wally: I try to make the world a better place. Have you heard the phrase, "Pay it forward?" Asok: Yes. Wally: I'm the end of the line for that sequence of events. It saves the rest of you a lot of work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scam, #death, #reincarnation, #con, #con artist, #ghost, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new business selling clothes to ghosts. My garments are made of the finest ectoplasm. Dilbert: Ghosts don't have money. Dogbert: They don't need money. I'm using a life insurance business model. If you pay me until you die, I will keep your ghost well-dressed for eternity. I also offer reincarnation services. Leave all of your stuff to me when you die and I'll give it back to you when I find the baby that got your soul. Dilbert: You'll be in trouble if your customers realize you're running a scam. Dogbert: If dead people start complaining, we've both got bigger problems than my scams.

Dogbert's Recommendations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Recommendations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #consultant, #listening, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults. Dogbert: I recommend doing all of the things your employees have been telling you to do. Boss: I don't see why I should pay you for this. Dogbert: Oh. Then how about doing all the things your competition is doing? Boss: Now, that's a great idea. Dogbert: Good, because that's what your employees have been telling you to do.

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Don't Harm The Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Don't Harm The Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #drone, #artificial intelligence, #frustration, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Pay no attention to the drone. That's where I keep my artificial soul. It's still in beta, so please don't say anything that might harm it. Boss: Let's go around the room and give our project updates. Drone: Pow!

Brain Fragments

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Fragments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bored, #boredom, #health, #mundane

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need to take an extended medical leave to recover from a boredom-related injury at work. You gave ma a task so boring that my brain tried to escape through my lower gastrointestinal tract. Boss: I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Dilbert: I found brain fragments in my pants.

Ruining Dilbert's Flow

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ruining Dilbert's Flow - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #deadline, #work load, #multitask, #compensation, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!

Days Off Versus More Pay

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Days Off Versus More Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #catch-22, #wages, #trick question, #vacation, #compensation, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Would you rather have more days off or more pay? Alice: Days off. Dilbert: Days off. Wally: Days off. Boss: You were right-- we're paying them too much.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wages, #salary, #secret, #anger, #compensation, #money, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: You left a speadsheet with everyone salary in the copier. Boss: Oops. Catbert: By now, every employee has seen it. Boss: Should I be worried that it will lower morale? Catbert: No, I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about heads exploding when they find out Wally has the highest pay in the department. Noise: Pow!!! Catbert: It's going to be a long week. Boss: Would you mind kicking that angry eyeball into the trash?