Money Comic Strips - Page 35

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614 Results for Money

View 341 - 350 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiations, unfair, greed, money

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Dogbert the CEO man says, "The union will agree to deep cuts if you agree to work for one dollar per year." Dogbert says, "I agree, as long as I get my pay in advance and the mandatory retirement age is waived." Man says, "Fine." Dogbert says, "Call payroll and tell them to cut a check for my next ten billion years of service."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, investing, con, violence, lying

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Man says, "I'm thinking of investing in the Dogbert hedge fund." Man says, "Can you explain how it works?" Dogbert says, "It's simple I take your money and then use math to turn it into my money while destroying the overall economy." Man says, "Is that legal?" Dogbert says, "More so than you'd think." Man says, "What's in it for me?" Dogbert says, "My inflated claims will give you false hope." Dogbert says, "That way you won't stress out until after you retire and discover you're penniless." Man says, "But I..." Bonk! Ugh! Man says, "I don't remember the last five minutes." Dogbert says, "I was telling you that my hedge fund will earn you 520% per year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dreams, aspiration, angry, scared, yelling, economy, screaming

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Asok says, "I'm recalibrating my hopes and dreams to be consistent with the state of the economy." Asok says, "My new goal is to not be smothered to death by an old mattress that falls off a salvage truck." Asok says, "And I am saving money by drinking nothing but mugs of stale air." Wally says, "You're scaring my coffee!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags monster, rebate, trap, frustration, anger, yelling

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Dilbert says, "I bought a new phone. It was only $50 after rebate." Dogbert says, "Uh-Oh." Dilbert says, "Let's see what the terms of the rebate?" Foom! Monster says, "I am rebaterus. You must pass five tests before your rebate will be authorized." Monster says, "You must wait 30 days without losing or accidentally discardin the rebate forms, the receipt, and the box." Monster says, "You must figure out which of the several unlabeled codes on the box is the real rebate code." Monster says, "You must write that code into a space desighned for a code half as long." Monster says, "Some numbers look like lettters." Dilbert says, "Just keep my money!!!" Monster says, "Dude, we spent it before you left the store."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economy, money, demand, orders, rejection

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Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, game, money, broke, correcting, sitting, business

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Dilbert says, "Welcome to another round of 'If we had money.' I'll go first." Dilbert says, "If we had money, we could design and test new products." Asok says, "We could go to training." Dilbert says, "You forgot to say, 'If we had money'!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reading, e-mail, money, broke, budget cuts, cleaning, toilet

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To all staff: We had to let our cleaning crew go for budget reasons. In a separate e-mail, I will explain our new 'Adopt a toilet' program. Dilbert says, "I have to be honest, Timmy. I don't see college in your future."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, happy, bragging, angry, economy, value

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Carol says, "I live in a rented trailer, and all of my money is in my checking account." Carol says, "Your investments are worthless and your mortgage is underwater. My net worth is higher than yours now." Carol says, "I guess promiscuity and a G.E.D. was a pretty good strategy for me after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, sitting, asking, money, present, punch, violence, pain, flying, technology

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Asok says, "I'm collecting money for our pointy-haired boss' birthday." Punch! The boss says, "How much did we get so far?" Asok says, "Well, nothing you could send by FedEx."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economy, money, investments, topping, comparing, proud, bragging

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Topper Dilbert says, "Gaaa! My stocks are down 70%!" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "Today I discovered that my house is insulated with cheese." Dilbert says, "Gouda?" Topper says, "Grated."