Muddles Thinking Comic Strips - Page 35

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405 Results for Muddles Thinking

View 341 - 350 results for muddles thinking comic strips. Discover the best "Muddles Thinking" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #technology problem, #executive attention netowrk, #social awareness, #radical change, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #thinking, #mental energy, #executive attention, #brain network, #dangerous territory, #surpasses last remnets, #sociala awreness, #misread social cues

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Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #executives, #ignorance, #money, #powerpoint, #project unicron, #progress, #style, #substitute for subsatnce, #worker bee, #executives rspond, #clouds, #dollar signs, #slow clap

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Boss: Make a PowerPoint deck showing our progress on Project Unicorn. Dilbert: There hasn't been any progress. Boss: That's okay. Use a large font. Dilbert: Style is not a substitute for substance. Boss: You're thinking like a worker bee. There's no time for substance when you're at the top. Executives only respond to familiar colors and shapes. Clouds, dollar signs... that sort of thing. Dilbert: ...and in conclusion. Boss: Come on slow clap.

Memorial Service For Ted

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Memorial Service For Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #funerals, #memorial, #cake, #ballons, #tasteful, #mime, #pretend, #invisible box, #hire entertainment, #clueless

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Boss: I need you to organize some sort of memorial thing for Fred. Carol: You mean Ted. Boss: I'm thinking cake and balloons in the break room. Is that tasteful enough? Carol: I could hire a mime to pretend he's in an invisible box.

Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning

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Wally Thinks About Strategic Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #hallucinations, #strategic planners, #future, #pretend, #different happens, #visualize, #game, #work, #planning

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Wally: I'm thinking of getting into the strategic planning game. If I understand the job description, you basically hallucinate about the future and then something different happens. Dilbert: You also have to pretend it's useful. Wally: Really? That sounds hard.

Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes

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Dilbert Invents Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #decision, #decision-making, #inventions, #success, #thinking, #tube clothes, #eliminate decisions, #mark zuckerberg, #gray t-short, #success secrets

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Dilbert: I call my invention "tube clothes." The idea is to eliminate as many daily decisions as possible, the way Mark Zuckerberg does with his gray t-shirt. I like to understand what makes people successful. Dogbert: And you narrowed it down to his shirt?

Tube Clothing At The Bar

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Tube Clothing At The Bar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #dating, #jobs, #low standards, #tube clothes, #values substance, #employment, #relationships

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Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #alienation, #deception, #strategy, #toxic, #toxic relationship, #work ethic, #useless, #ambitous, #meetings, #incomplete information, #anxious, #hateful

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Wally: I'm already useless, but I'm thinking about becoming toxic as well. Dilbert: That seems ambitious for you. Wally: Think it through. As a useless person, I still get invited to meetings because I don't cause much trouble. But if I go full-toxic, no one will invite me to meetings in the first place. I can avoid a lot of work by nipping it in the bud. Dilbert: Is it hard to be toxic? How do you do it? Wally: It's easy. All you do is provide incomplete information that makes people anxious and hateful. I can't tell you what was said in that last meeting, but I defended you.

Anchor Price For Negotiations

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Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #haggling, #negotiating, #negotiation, #research, #value, #worth, #anchor price, #science

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Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

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Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas

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Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.