Product Comic Strips - Page 35

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385 Results for Product

View 341 - 350 results for product comic strips. Discover the best "Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

Product Is Too Addictive

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Product Is Too Addictive  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, technology, facebook, twitter, addiction, big business, impulse control

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Dilbert: I'm worried that we designed our product to be too addictive. Now we're more like a disease than a consumer product. Boss: Will you stop talking like that if I give you a raise? Dilbert: It's worth a try.

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

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Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, cell phones, fragile, aesthetics, vanity

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Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.

Cracked Screen

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Cracked Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags phone, cell phone, fragile, design, screen, case, technology

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Dilbert: Introducing our new mobile phone product, the BSB 100. BSB stands for Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle. Oops. Voice: What's the 100 stand for? Dilbert: That's how many times you'll have to replace a cracked screen.

Insurance For Phones

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Insurance For Phones  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, technology, insurance, break, screen, cracked

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Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.

Wally Finds Critical Bug

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Wally Finds Critical Bug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, bug, deception, insider trading, stock, trick

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Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.

Someone Stole Phb's Idea

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 Someone Stole Phb's Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, patent, copyright, invention, credit

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Boss: Hey! Someone stole my product idea! Dilbert: To be fair, your idea would have been obvious to a monkey with a drinking problem. Boss: But a monkey couldn't build this product. Dilbert: Neither can you. Let's call it a tie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags add code, corporate scamming, darkest day, designed new prodcut, draft apology, engineering success, make unrelaible, no upgarde, press release, ten years

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Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.

Purchasing Did Not Order Part

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Purchasing Did Not Order Part - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags delays, excuses, laziness, work ethic, scapegoat, deadline, delay

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Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.

Your Word Against Everyone

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Your Word Against Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accusation, assume, assumption, Opinion

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Boss: Everyone says you hate the new product test plan. Dilbert: No, I like it. Boss: Pffft. I don't think all of those people can be wrong about what you think. Dilbert: I'm kind of an expert on what I think. Boss: I guess it's just your word against everyone.

Dilbert Is Misinterpreted

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Dilbert Is Misinterpreted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assume, assumption, proof, obstinacy

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Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!