Secretaries (Office) Comic Strips - Page 35
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1000 Results for Secretaries (Office)
View 341 - 350 results for secretaries (office) comic strips. Discover the best "Secretaries (Office)" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 22,
2003
Tags performance review, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, trash talking, lunch, objectives, glowing email, 7 stages, psychology
Transcript
Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."
Monday July 14,
2003
Tags clutter meleon, printed debris, nest, predator, power to disguise
Transcript
Headline: The Cluttermeleon Lines His Nest with Printed Debris. An employee is carrying a large stack of papers nto a cubicle already filled with stacks of paper. Headline: A Predator Comes Out of His Lair. The Boss pokes his head out of his office. Headline: The Quick-Thinking Cluttermeleon Uses His Power of Disguise. The Boss looks into the messy cubicle. The employee is hidden underneath an extra high stack of paper.
Friday August 08,
2003
Tags weather, close offcie, forecast for blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lave flows, precision-guided ball laightening, swims of killer bees, snow tires
Transcript
"The weather is getting worse. Maybe we should close the office." "No." "The forecast is blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lava flows, and precision-guided ball lightning." "And radiation enlarged swarms of killer bees." "Get some snow tires, you big baby."
Sunday September 14,
2003
Tags keeper of giant binder, secret technology, never leave office, no drawer, no desk, use as tiny bed, rest of days, trade show binder
Transcript
Alice: "Asok, I designate you the keeper of the giant binder." "It contains our secret technology plans." "It can never leave this office." "It won't fit in any drawer." "And the 'clean desk policy' forbids me from leaving it on my desktop." "GAAA!! I can't take it home, and I can't leave it here!" "I must use it as a tiny bed and spend the rest of my days guarding it." Dilbert: "What did you do with the giant binder prop that you got at the trade show?"
Wednesday October 22,
2003
Tags hapy, spacious offcie, ocean view, workplace, personalized environemnt, brad pitt
Transcript
"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" Dilbert: "I'm so happy in my new spacious office with an ocean view." "Finally I have the workplace I've always dreamed of." Wally: "The personalized environment headset works, sir." The boss: "Brad Pitt! Shouldn't you put a shirt on?" ANSER: GO TO DILBERT.COM
Tuesday November 04,
2003
Tags level conscious, vide presidents offcie, secretary, make direct eye contact, meeting, boss, new hire, business
Transcript
"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."
Wednesday November 05,
2003
Tags too busy, bottleneck, document, desk, office
Transcript
"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."
Tuesday November 11,
2003
Tags boss stalker, wait, offcie, unscheduled, suck up, phone calls end, still out there
Transcript
Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."
Wednesday December 24,
2003
Tags downsized, gag gifts, goodby lunch, not retired, tuesday, party, gifts, mean soirited, office party
Transcript
CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"
Tuesday December 30,
2003
Tags office relocation, studied boss, learned methods, corner you, scream about bright light
Transcript
"I am in charge of the office relocation project, also known as O.R.P." "I have never managed anything, but I have studied our boss to learn his methods." "Let's see.. step one, I corner you. Step two, I talk until you scream about seeing a bright light."

