Technology Comic Strips - Page 35
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803 Results for Technology
View 341 - 350 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 09,
2015
Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy
Tags verbiage, technical, jargon, deception, logic, team player, babble
Transcript
Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.
Sunday May 10,
2015
Tags social media, facebook, twitter, pinterest, instagram, obliviousness, technology, communication
Transcript
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.
Friday May 15,
2015
Alice Uses Social Media
Tags social media, twitter, careers, competition, deception, trick, flame, internet, technology
Transcript
Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!
Thursday May 21,
2015
Brain Scan And 3 D Scanner
Tags replication, technology, clone, playing god, doppelganger
Transcript
Dilbert: My invention can scan the human brain and duplicate it in software. I combined that technology with a 3-D printer that makes human body parts. Boss: What does it all do? Replicant: He's getting to the good part.
Sunday May 24,
2015
Tags dating, social, social interaction, honesty, politeness, overshare, relationships
Transcript
Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?
Sunday May 31,
2015
Tags flirting, dating, negotiation, rebuff, rejection, social media, relationships, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.
Monday June 01,
2015
Boss And Social Media
Tags social media, twitter, facebook, passion, deception, trick, prank, obliviousness, technology
Transcript
Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.
Sunday June 07,
2015
Tags internet, types of people, internet comment, Opinion, discussion, fame, technology
Transcript
Man: I'm Dick, from the Internet. I'm the guy who always says ridiculous, angry stuff. I misinterpret every comment you make as an absurd absolute and then I attack it like you are a moron. Dilbert: That doesn't sound fun. Dick: Wow. So you are saying everything in the world needs to be fun. Maybe you should do some research before you embarrass yourself like that again. Dilbert: Hey! You are the guy from the Internet! Dick: I'm sending you five links that are not as relevant as I think they are. Dilbert: You're famous!
Tuesday June 09,
2015
Maybe We Should Make A Smartwatch
Tags technology, innovation, copy, practicality, practical, pragmatic, watch, competition
Transcript
Boss: Maybe we should make a smart watch. Dilbert: Maybe it is far too late. Boss: Maybe we could make a better one than Apple. Dilbert: Maybe we should get in a sword fight and not have a sword. Boss: Am I missing anything by not listening to what you say? Dilbert: No, it's mostly for my own entertainment.
Wednesday June 10,
2015
Doomed Smartwatch Project
Tags analogy, obliviousness, assignment, technology, invention, watch, failure
Transcript
Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!


