Ted Comic Strips - Page 35

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448 Results for Ted

View 341 - 350 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

What The Boss Said

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What The Boss Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags secret, accusation, privacy, following, bathroom, restroom, personal space

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Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?

Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows

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Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, bad advice, secret, gratitude

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Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.

Pregnant Fly

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Pregnant Fly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety, accident, osha, hazard, work environment

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Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.

Ted Has No Family

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Ted Has No Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, judgement, deciding, business

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Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.

Ted Has Fly Brain

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Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greeting card, sick, brain damage, marketing, advertising, mindless, business, medical

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Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

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Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, cost, fired, layoff, suggestion

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Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, meeting, tardiness, punctual, badmouth, business

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Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.

Tina Gives Buy In

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Tina Gives Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, money, price, cost, value

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Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.

Offending The Janitor

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Offending The Janitor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags politically correct, offensive, language, misunderstanding

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Boss: Ted, I have to fire you because you said something that offended the janitor. Ted: What did I say?! Boss: I don't know. The janitor has a thick accent and he's terrible at charades. Elbonian 1: Did you take care of the buy who keeps putting banana peels in the recycling? Elbonian 2: He won't do it again.

Ted Gets A New Phone

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Ted Gets A New Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, reward, gift, samsung, explosion, battery

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Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.