Ted Comic Strips - Page 35
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Character
448 Results for Ted
View 341 - 350 results for ted comic strips. Discover the best "Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 04,
2016
What The Boss Said
Tags secret, accusation, privacy, following, bathroom, restroom, personal space
Transcript
Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?
Thursday May 05,
2016
Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows
Tags Advice, bad advice, secret, gratitude
Transcript
Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.
Thursday July 07,
2016
Pregnant Fly
Tags safety, accident, osha, hazard, work environment
Transcript
Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.
Friday July 08,
2016
Ted Has No Family
Tags human resources, judgement, deciding, business
Transcript
Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.
Saturday July 09,
2016
Ted Has Fly Brain
Tags greeting card, sick, brain damage, marketing, advertising, mindless, business, medical
Transcript
Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.
Monday October 03,
2016
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted
Tags money, cost, fired, layoff, suggestion
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.
Sunday October 09,
2016
Tags insult, meeting, tardiness, punctual, badmouth, business
Transcript
Dilbert: It seems that everyone but Ted made it to this meeting. If we proceed without Ted, our decisions will be underinformed. If we try to reschedule a meeting with all of us, we will miss the critical deadline. Thanks to Ted, we have two ways to lose and no way to win. I say we use this time to say bad things about Ted to make ourselves feel better. I'll start. Ted is a lazy, selfish loser, If I could travel through time, I would prevent Ted's parents from meeting. Don't look at me like I'm the one who came late.
Saturday November 05,
2016
Tina Gives Buy In
Tags negotiation, money, price, cost, value
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.
Saturday November 19,
2016
Offending The Janitor
Tags politically correct, offensive, language, misunderstanding
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I have to fire you because you said something that offended the janitor. Ted: What did I say?! Boss: I don't know. The janitor has a thick accent and he's terrible at charades. Elbonian 1: Did you take care of the buy who keeps putting banana peels in the recycling? Elbonian 2: He won't do it again.


