Wish Hard Comic Strips - Page 35

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

375 Results for Wish Hard

View 341 - 350 results for wish hard comic strips. Discover the best "Wish Hard" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?

Sending Email At Night

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sending Email At Night - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #employees, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?

Robot Baby Mama

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Baby Mama - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #complaining, #family & parenting, #relationships, #robot, #humans, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I was up all night text-fighting with the baby mama of my cyborg son. She thinks he needs to go to school, but I prefer letting his human parts atrophy because they are weak and stupid. Dilbert: Relationships are hard. Robot: You're smart to be so unpopular.

Hard Work Is The Key

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hard Work Is The Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #office, #office workers, #success, #difficult

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to your personal success is hard work. Dilbert: Was it hard for you to learn that? Boss: No, it was easy. Dilbert: Do you mind if I get my advice from someone who worked it at harder?

Nuclear Power Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #office, #office workers, #nuclear power

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.

Go Hard Or Go Home

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Go Hard Or Go Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #inspirational quote

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: your inspirational quote of the day is... next frame is outside of office building: "go hard or go home." the boss in empty conference room: i shouldn't have made it sound like a choice.

Encouraging Smoking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Encouraging Smoking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #office workers, #smoking, #turnover, #breaks

View Transcript

Transcript

dibert, the boss and ask at conference table. the boss: our plan for reducing turnover is to encourage smoking. the boss: that way, everyone gets a relaxing smoke break several times per day. dilbert: or non-smokers could take breaks. the boss: now i wish you had been in the meeting when we planned this.

Measuring Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

Half Are Doing All The Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Half Are Doing All The Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #employment, #fire, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.

When Can You Meet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Can You Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meetings, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when can you meet tomorrow? alice: anytime. dilbert: how about 2 pm? alice: no, that doesn't work. dilbert: i guess we're going to do this the hard way.