Business People Comic Strips - Page 35

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View 341 - 350 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

You Can Say No

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You Can Say No - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, insubordination, stupid, test, video, sarcasm

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dilbert wearing face mask: did you know you can just refuse to do things that are stupid, and it will be okay? tina: i don't believe that. dilbert: it's true! i've been testing it all week. tina: take a video next time you do it so i can see how. dilbert: no, that's stupid.

Input From Idiots

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Input From Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, technology, input, idiots, project, variety, dumb, informed, leadership

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dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.

How To Identify Good Ideas

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How To Identify Good Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, decision making, smart, people, idiot, agree, disagree, good, bad, idea, rational

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dilbert: i can't tell the difference between good ideas and bad ones. there are smart people on both sides of every idea. what rational process do you use to determine who is right? wally: i label people who disagree with me "idiots" and call it a day.

Anecdotal Testing

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Anecdotal Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, confused, engineering, sarcasm, tests

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Boss: Have you tested this to know it will work? Dilbert: I tested it anecdotally. Boss: I don't know what that word means. Wally: Well played.

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business, business ethics, business failures/bankruptcies, hide, managers & supervisors, options, analysis, corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Disbanding Task Force

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Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Should Have Done It Sooner

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Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, dollars, failure, managers & supervisors, patch, payroll, problem, raise, savings, software, technology, years

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dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Factories No Buyers

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Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, sarcasm, customers, poison

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Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

One Source Of Stress

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One Source Of Stress - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, work at home, human, contact, stress, co-workers, bored, print, money

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dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.

Why Use Tests

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Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose

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Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.