New Product Comic Strips - Page 35
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1000 Results for New Product
View 341 - 350 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 23,
2013
Tags gadgets, tablet computer, dime sized computer, lick it, attach to eyeballs, fail, fast fail, finish in month
Transcript
CEO: I have a vision that our next product will be a tablet computer the size of a dime. Users will lick it and attach it to their eyeballs. Can you finish that in a month? Dilbert: I can fail at any speed you like.
Wednesday January 09,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, actionable anlytics, big data, new jargon, accelrate, business
Transcript
Boss: Do we have any actionable analytics from our big data in the cloud? Dilbert: Yes, the data shows that my productivity plunges whenever you learn new jargon. Boss: Maybe in-memory computing will accelerate your applications. Dilbert: Plunge, plunge, plunge.
Tuesday January 01,
2013
Tags new year's day, optimism, network down, bad new years day, good year
Transcript
Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.
Saturday December 29,
2012
Tags executives, managers & supervisors, reorganizing, overthinking, business
Transcript
CEO: I'm reorganizing the company and giving every manager a new job. Boss: Why? CEO: You're over-thinking it.
Friday December 21,
2012
Tags diseases, employees, frustration, new bad apple, joining project, full disclosure, totally contagious, immune, worms, business, medical
Transcript
Coworker: I'm the new bad apple. I'll be joining your project. In the interest of full disclosure, this is totally contagious. Wally: I'm immune, but not for reasons I'm proud of. Coworker: You must be Wally.
Sunday November 25,
2012
Tags annoyance, screen savers, company logo, corporate rule, agenda, meeting, business
Transcript
Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.
Monday November 19,
2012
Tags business ethics, gotcha fees, airlines, make moneky, terrible battery life, high five
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to have more "gotcha" fees. That's how airlines make their money. For example, you could design your product to have a terrible battery life, then sell extra chargers for ten times your cost. CEO: And maybe the chargers could break after two months. Dogbert: High five!
Thursday November 15,
2012
Tags executives, new strategy, nimble, meeting, business plan, business
Transcript
CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?
Monday November 05,
2012
Tags 3d printer, answer questions, modeling (sculpture), pointy haired boss
Transcript
Carol: Your pointy-haired boss wants to know if you tested the new 3-D printer yet. Why aren't you answering my question? Whatever. Wally: Success.
Friday October 26,
2012
Tags inventions, robot, telepresence, commute, multitasking, new technology, rough patches, meat bags
Transcript
Asok: Here comes Wally's telepresence robot. Robot: How was your commute, suckers?!!! Ha ha ha ha! I'm multitasking in ways that might surprise you! Dilbert: New technology always has rough patches. Robot: Open that door for me, meat bags!


