Drink Coffee Comic Strips - Page 35
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398 Results for Drink Coffee
View 341 - 350 results for drink coffee comic strips. Discover the best "Drink Coffee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 20,
2013
Tags coffee & tea, double coffee, success, work ethic, passion, necessary
Transcript
Wally: I'm double-mugging because I heard that passion is necessary for success. By 4pm I'll be so passionate I'll be dating my chair. Catbert: Nothing about that sounded right.
Monday August 12,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), laziness, passive job seeker, rope, sleeping, tied up, coffee cup, chair, bound
Transcript
Recruiters Recruiter 1: Hey, is that a passive job seeker? Wally: ZZZZZZ. Recruiter 2: Back off! I saw him first. This rope hols my place until he wakes up. Wally: ZZZZZZ. I will pay you a thousand dollars to drop a long straw in this cup.
Friday August 16,
2013
Tags cruelty, grades, managers & supervisors, small animal snuff film, sociopath module, punch a squirrel, extra credit, coffee pot, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.
Monday October 28,
2013
Tags cruelty, managers & supervisors, work ethic, employees work harder, caring managers, sausage casing, business
Transcript
Boss: According to studies, employees will work harder if they think their managers care about them. But that's hard for me because you're basically a sausage casing full of coffee and rotting organs. Dilbert: That must have stung. Wally: Less than you'd think.
Saturday December 28,
2013
Tags engineer, google, evolved, pure energy, apathy, in cop, coffee, desk, engineering
Transcript
Behold my greatness! I was na engineer at google before I evolved to pure energy! Behold my path that will suck the energy out of you like a monkey on an orange. Good bot, Right in the cup.
Wednesday April 23,
2014
Tags conversation, deception, insincere compliments, make likable, didn't spill, no change
Transcript
Dilbert: I read that using people's names and giving insincere compliments will make me likeable. Good job pouring that coffee, Wally. You didn't spill a drop. Wally: I don't feel any different. Dilbert: Maybe the problem is on your end.
Saturday May 24,
2014
Tags customer survey, flying car, idiots, new software, people who buy, survey, cafe, coffee cup
Transcript
Dilbert: I have the results of our customer survey. The new software feature they want most is "Flying car" Boss: Did you survey any people who aren't idiots? Dilbert: No, I only surveyed people who buy from us.
Saturday December 20,
2014
Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert
Tags rumor mill, rumors, freak accident, naked, vacuuming, spread rumors, coffee machine, gossip, office, self preservation
Transcript
Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.
Wednesday December 24,
2014
Sounded Interesting From Across The Room
Tags conversation, smartphone technology, speed evolve, meta organism, sum of parts, looked interetsing, employees, coffee break, cups, business
Transcript
Tina: What are you talking about? It sounds interesting. Dilbert: We were saying that our smartphone technology has caused us to speed-evolve into a meta-organism that is the sum of our connected parts. Tina: In my defense, from across the room it looked interesting.
Wednesday April 15,
2015
Wally Is Employee Of The Year
Tags awards, cheating, deception, patent, catch-22, work ethic, laziness
Transcript
CEO: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for filing the most patents of any engineer in our history. Dilbert: How many have been granted? CEO: Well, most of them... I assume? Wally: How much coffee does this thing hold?


