Ethics Questions Comic Strips - Page 35

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364 Results for Ethics Questions

View 341 - 350 results for ethics questions comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Applying Math To Guesses

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Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #employment, #business, #analysis, #discount rate, #installation, #maintenance, #project, #technology, #math, #guess, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.

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Management Got Virus

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Management Got Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #management, #coronavirus, #quarantined, #work, #wisdom, #idiot, #theme, #face mask, #sarcasm

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catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.

Omit Information

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Omit Information - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #illness, #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #summary, #mistakes, #ethical, #lie, #violation, #context, #face mask

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boss: when you write the project summary, make it seem as if we didn't make any mistakes. tina: you want me to lie? that would be a massive ethical violation. boss: no, no. i only want you to omit important context. tina: why does my stomach hurt?

Business Lying

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Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #lying, #context, #important, #acceptable, #sick, #sarcasm, #face mask

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tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Tina's Soul

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Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #laptop computer, #project, #team, #lying, #garbage, #insult, #soul, #conscience, #face mask

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tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

First Astronaut

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First Astronaut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astronaut, #business, #coffee, #division, #face mask, #honor, #question, #safety, #space, #technology, #test, #mars

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carol: our space division asked if you would accept the honor of being their first astronaut to mars. boss: i didn't know they had even tested it for safety yet. carol: he asked too many questions.

Dogbert The Auditor

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Dogbert The Auditor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #consultant, #company, #fee, #fraud, #crime, #report, #question

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dogbert: for a reasonable fee, i will audit your company and find any fraud or crime if it exists. dilbert: what's to stop you from taking bribes from the fraudsters and reporting that everything is fine? dogbert: my business model depends on you not asking that kind of question.

Cock Fights

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Cock Fights - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #audit, #disturbing, #results, #sales, #department, #cockfight, #invitation, #rooster

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dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered many disturbing things. for example, did you know that the sales department holds cockfights on the third floor every tuesday? boss: why have i never been invited? dogbert: you're not a rooster.

Audit Blackmail

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Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #business, #audit, #software, #blackmail, #free, #network, #money, #dollars

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dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Bribe One Judge

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Bribe One Judge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #consumer, #lawsuit, #assignment, #judge, #bribe, #lawyer, #insult

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dogbert to boss: you have over seven hundred consumer lawsuits filed against you. if i can get them all assigned to the same judge, you only have to bribe one person. boss: are you even a lawyer? dogbert: heavens, no, and i didn't come here to be insulted.