Hard Copy Comic Strips - Page 35

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

379 Results for Hard Copy

View 341 - 350 results for hard copy comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Copy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Barry Dingle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Barry Dingle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #questioning, #correct, #incorrect, #explanation, #answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Sorry I'm late. Barry Dingle keeps hanging around my office and asking hard questions. Dilbert: You don't know the answer to any hard questions. Boss: That's why it takes so long. Dilbert: So... you just spout nonsense until he leaves? Boss: That's my go-to strategy for most situations.

Directionally Accurate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #memory, #demagoguery, #social media, #Opinion, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?

Bad User Interface

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user experience, #interface, #usability, #menu, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Stress Balls

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #frustration, #stress ball

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I bought stress balls for everyone in the office. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This ball is too hard to squeeze! It's stressing me out! How is this going to decrease my stress? Catbert: You're thinking of anti-stress balls.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.

How Dare You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Dare You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offended, #offense, #accusation, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new defense against every accusation is to be offended by the question. Dilbert: That works? Wally: Depends how hard I sell it. Woman: Why haven't you returned any of my emails? Wally: How dare you!

Dilbert And Monkeys

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert And Monkeys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?