Low Sales Comic Strips - Page 35

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

355 Results for Low Sales

View 341 - 350 results for low sales comic strips. Discover the best "Low Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

Carol Raises Money For School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, guilt, office, office workers, sales, sarcasm, school

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

Selling Chocolate For School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Selling Chocolate For School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, sales, school, capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise money for my kid's school. Boss: That sounds like communism. I'm out. Carol: I'll give you a fake receipt so you can expense it. Boss: Now it sounds like capitalism. I'm in.

Being Like A Man

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Being Like A Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, business, criticism, men and women, relations between the sexes, sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new advertising campaign is "Don't be like men." The ad starts with a montage of bad male behavior, from mansplaining to genocide. Then we show our product. Alice: Did a woman come up with this campaign? Boss: Stop being like a man.

Dilbert And Brainwashing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert And Brainwashing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.

Why Is Dilbert Arrogant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Is Dilbert Arrogant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, intelligence, office, office workers, relationships, arrogance

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: why are you so arrogant? dilbert: that's an illusion caused be a combination of your low intelligence and my track record of being right all the time. office worker: you're being arrogant again! dibert: or am I just right?

Magazine Article

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, publication, salesman, advertisement, best, company, decision

View Transcript

Transcript

magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?

Dogbert Designs Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Designs Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags design, business, headphones, maximum, customer, annoyance, charging, port, guess, incorrect, frustration, fit, customers, ship, user

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i've designed these over-ear headphones for maximum customer annoyance. the charging port is only on one side, so the user has a fifty percent chance of guessing wrong. and the charger only fits if you put it right-side up. to increase the frustration, i made the plug look the same on both sides. best of all, the plug is so poorly designed that half the time it doesn't seem to fit, even when you put it in correctly. i made the headphones black, so you can't easily find the charger hole in low light. ninety percent of users will be cursing us every time they try to recharge. customers won't know any of this until after they purchase. boss: ship it.

Carol Hoards

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Hoards - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health, office supplies, copy paper, hoarding, shortage, coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask: we're running low on copier paper. carol wearing face mask: i know. i hoarded it all at my house when someone said we might have a shortage. dilbert: can you bring some of it back? carol: that would defeat the point of hoarding.

Should Have Done It Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, dollars, failure, managers & supervisors, patch, payroll, problem, raise, savings, software, technology, years

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Face Mask Assissination

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Face Mask Assissination - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, office workers, suspicion, pandemic, virus, risk

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I think we should seriously consider ending the face mask policy. Boss: You know I'm in a high-risk group, and you are in a low-risk group. Are you trying to assassinate me? Carol: You can't prove that. Boss: I was hoping for something closer to a denial.