Start Tomorrow Comic Strips - Page 35

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

399 Results for Start Tomorrow

View 341 - 350 results for start tomorrow comic strips. Discover the best "Start Tomorrow" comics from Dilbert.com.

Anchor Price For Negotiations

Thank you for voting.
Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #haggling, #negotiating, #negotiation, #research, #value, #worth, #anchor price, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

Dogbert The Product Designer

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #annoy people, #frustration, #packaging, #product design, #sadism, #software, #torture, #product code, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!

Boss Gets Standing Desk

Thank you for voting.
Boss Gets Standing Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #fads, #desk, #standing, #health, #fitness, #office furniture, #trends

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: The "standing desk" you ordered is here. I scheduled a mover to get rid of it tomorrow. Boss: Legs... so... tired. Carol: Don't slip on his tears.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #sales, #price, #prices, #bidding, #bid, #blackmail, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This is not the deal we agreed on. Man: I forgot a few things on the first estimate, but you need them. Dilbert: I only picked you because you had the lowest price. Man: Yes, but not the vendor selection is done and it would be too much trouble for you to start over. It might even damage your career because you delayed the project. You could go to the second-highest bidder, but those guys would do the same thing to you. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I have no choice! This is blackmail, not commerce! Man: We call it "sales." I'll need all the cash in your wallet, too.

Doomed Smartwatch Project

Thank you for voting.
Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #analogy, #obliviousness, #assignment, #technology, #invention, #watch, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

No Progress On Writing The Novel

Thank you for voting.
No Progress On Writing The Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #writing, #writer, #talent, #frustration, #writers block, #self esteem, #self deprecation, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.

Robot As Assassin

Thank you for voting.
Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Hairdresser Illuminati

Thank you for voting.
 Hairdresser Illuminati - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hair, #haircut, #hairstyles, #success, #Politics, #candidates, #secret organization, #secret society, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.