Talk To Furniture Comic Strips - Page 35

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400 Results for Talk To Furniture

View 341 - 350 results for talk to furniture comic strips. Discover the best "Talk To Furniture" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bureaucracy, paperwork, form, request, convoluted

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Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.

Talking About The Last Job

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Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, comparing, employees, dumb, business, psychology

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Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job

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Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags talking, conversation, boring, annoy, quitting, boredom

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Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.

Rather Eat Garbage

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Rather Eat Garbage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags choosing, choices, boredom, listening, trash, garbage, suffering

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Wally: Would you rather eat garbage or listen to our boss talk about his weekend? Dilbert: I'd have to know more about the garbage to make that decision. Wally: Let's say it's mostly kitchen stuff. Dilbert: Am I eating it from the can or fighting birds for it?

Robot Lawyer Has Comments

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Robot Lawyer Has Comments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, robot, talk

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Dilbert: Do you have any comments on the contract I emailed to you? Robot: Adjudicate the continuance of due diligence until an injunction repudiates the covenants. Dilbert: I was hoping for comments that make sense. Robot: You're thinking of a more expensive robot.

Tina Won't Stop Talking

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Tina Won't Stop Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, company policy, politeness, etiquette, time, talking

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Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.

Honest Opinion But Polite

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Honest Opinion But Polite - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, political correctness, politically correct, company policy, honesty

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Dilbert: Our new politeness policy forbids me from giving you an honest opinion of your idea. So, instead, I will talk about an unrelated topic and you can draw your own conclusions. So... did you hear about the manure fire that burned down a pig farm?

No Texting At Work

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No Texting At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags politeness, etiquette, company policy, communication, distraction, social media, conversation, interaction, technology

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Dilbert: The company's new politeness policy forbids you from texting while I am trying to talk to you. Alice: I'm not using a texting app. I'm replying to people on social media. Dilbert: You're missing the point. Alice: When did my happiness stop being the point?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, listening, small talk

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Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Normals Are Dispensible

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Normals Are Dispensible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags superiority, microchip, nanotechnology, brain, thinking, superhuman

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Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.