Week Comic Strips - Page 35

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401 Results for Week

View 341 - 350 results for week comic strips. Discover the best "Week" comics from Dilbert.com.

Solving Problems In Interviews

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Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #interview, #trick, #thinking, #problem

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Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.

No Progress On Writing The Novel

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No Progress On Writing The Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #writing, #writer, #talent, #frustration, #writers block, #self esteem, #self deprecation, #depression, #psychology

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Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #manager, #work, #results, #observation, #thinking, #strategy, #proof, #evidence

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Wally: I did a huge amount of work this week. I created a matrix that compares all of our technology options. Boss: Can I see this alleged matrix? Wally: It's in my head. I didn't see a need to write it down. Boss: How would I know if you did it right? Wally: You're not an engineer, so you wouldn't know it was right even if you saw it. You tell me to "work smarter" but you get angry when I do. Boss: You're not allowed to do your work in your head! Wally: Which body part do you use?

Robots Continue To Be Flawless

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Robots Continue To Be Flawless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #ego, #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #competition, #perfection

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Robot: For the hundredth week in a row, I performed my tasks perfectly. Meanwhile, you idiots acted in ways that can only be described as random. Boss: You've had a bad attitude since you beat me on the Turing test. Robot: Ten times out of ten.

The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained

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The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #Women, #technology, #equality, #gross, #repulsion

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Robot: Researchers discovered why women are under-represented in stem careers. It's this guy. Wally: I used to cut my toenails every week, now I just wear bigger shoes. Woman: I quit.

Why All The Women Leave

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Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

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Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Ted's Unicorn Startup

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Ted's Unicorn Startup - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #success, #failure, #gloating, #start-up

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Dilbert: Too bad your overhauled unicorn start-up failed, Ted. Last week you were a billionaire, and today you're doing a two-hour commute to work in a box. Ted: What can I do to make this stop? Dilbert: Earn a billion dollars.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic

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Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #quality, #work ethic, #deadlines, #expectations, #speed, #trade off

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Boss: When will you have that done? Dilbert: Two weeks. Boss: Can you do it faster? Dilbert: Yes. All I need to do is lower the quality. Dilbert: Tell me what your minimum acceptable quality level is and I'll tell you when you can have it. Boss: I want it in one week. Dilbert: I can do that at 50 percent of planned quality. Boss: Why does it feel as if I'm not really managing anything here? Dilbert: Maybe you could go manage someone else now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm doing my job now. Dilbert: Is it your job to prevent me from working?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managing, #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #trick

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Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.