2007 Comic Strips - Page 35
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Character
Friday December 07,
2007
Tags ask the intern, died, moon shuttle, sample of dna, jar, reincarnate to clone, jar missing, needed for candy
Transcript
The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."
Saturday December 08,
2007
Tags prototype, killed asok, clone, reincarnate, snack jar, snicker, feel nuts
Transcript
"Your prototype killed Asok. That means it is your job to clone him and hope he reincarnates into the clone." "Carol used his DNA container for a snack jar, so be careful." "Why do I feel nuts?" "You're part snickers bar."
Sunday December 09,
2007
Tags cost estimate, user requirements, estimate, go over budget, fired, Number, ten million dollars, know cost, input
Transcript
The Boss: "I need a cost estimate on your project." Dilbert: "I have no idea I haven't even gathered the user requirements." The Boss: "Don't worry I won't hold you to the estimate." Dilbert: "Yes you will. You will put it in the plan, forget we had this conversation, and fire me when I go over budget." The boss: "Give me a number or I'll fire you right now." Dilbert: "Okay, it will cost ten million dollars." The Boss: "That's too high." Dilbert: "If you already know the cost why are you asking me?" The Boss: "So you'll feel like you had input." Dilbert: "Is input supposed to feel this bad?"
Monday December 10,
2007
Tags death, reincarnation, snicker part, half man, half snack, studied guided reincarnation, shape shifting, indian institute, technology, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: "Asok died in a work-related accident. His disaster recovery plan was to reincarnate into his own clone." "You are his clone, but your DNA got mixed up with a snickers bar. You are doomed to walk the earth as half man, half snack." "Rrrrr" Asok: "Phew! It is lucky I studied guided reincarnation and advanced shape-shifting at the Indian Institute of Technology."
Tuesday December 11,
2007
Tags dead for week, managed reincarnation, own clone, shapeshifting skills, snicker bar, cable guy, waited at house, equivalent
Transcript
Asok: "I was dead for a week, but I managed to reincarnate into my own clone and use my shapeshifting skills to look less like a snickers bar." Carol: "I once waited four hours for a cable tv guy to show up at my house." Asok: "Those stories are no equivalent." Carol: "It's subjective."
Wednesday December 12,
2007
Tags coffe pot, coffee stand, offcie, yell, order coffee, quality of life, taste better
Transcript
Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."
Thursday December 13,
2007
Tags mordac, preventer of information services, network changes, on vacation, 3 weeks, russian submarine, arctic circle, blank screen, coincidence
Transcript
Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."
Friday December 14,
2007
Tags theoretically impossible, looped back, mobs strip, to- do list, had a pencil
Transcript
Wally: "It was theoretically impossible to work this week." "Everything I needed to do required me to do something else first, until it all looped back on itself like a Mobius strip." The boss: "Maybe you could make a to-do list." Wally: "As if I had a pencil."
Saturday December 15,
2007
Tags meeting, dont know, creating illusion, work, conflating, concepts, attendence, prodcutivity, business
Transcript
Tina: I don't know you. Why are you in this meeting? Wally: "I'm creating the illusion of work by conflating the concepts of attendance and productivity." "You should leave." Wally: "And who should I say hates teamwork?"
Sunday December 16,
2007
Tags highest raise, exceed expectations, thought possible, goals higher, incompetent, setting goals, maximum achievement, choices
Transcript
"The Boss: I can't give you the highest raise because you didn't exceed expectations." Dilbert: "If you thought it was possible for me to exceed my expectations, you would have set the goals higher." "So there are only two possibilities here." "Either you are incompetent at setting goals..." "Or I attained the maximum possible achievement and I deserve the maximum raise." "Which is it?" The Boss: "Can I hear those two choices again?"


