Managers Comic Strips - Page 36

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

596 Results for Managers

View 351 - 360 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Would It Look The Same

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Would It Look The Same  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Try Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boss, compliment, criticism, ego, employees, managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?

Hypothetical Observer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hypothetical Observer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.

Goofy Words

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Goofy Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, proposal, understand, clarification, end, misunderstand

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and that's my blockchain proposal. any questions? boss: there was a part i didn't understand. dilbert: which part? boss: the words dilbert: all of them? boss: only the goofy ones. such as token, smart contract, certainty as a service, utxo blockchains, node, ledger, and daps. dilbert: so... you didn't understand anything i said for the past hour? boss: don't try to turn this into my fault dilbert: you could have asked me to clarify boss: i also wanted it to end.

Solves Too Few Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Solves Too Few Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, proposal, problems, quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your proposed solution is dumb because it doesn't solve all of our problems. dilbert: there's no such thing as a solution that solves all our problems. maybe we should solve the ones we can solve? boss: you're coming off as a quitter

Lack Of Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lack Of Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, strategy, business, company, employees, nothing

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: once again, it seems you accomplished absolutely nothing this week wally: no on will tell me our company's strategy, so anything i did would be random flailing boss: a lack of strategy isn't keeping anyone else from working wally: but shouldn't it?

Practice Makes Perfect

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Practice Makes Perfect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, practice, estimate, errors, business, incorrect

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how can i trust your estimate when you have been wrong every other time? wally: practice makes perfect boss: um... boss thinking: i just realized i don't know how anything works.

Slippery Slope

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Slippery Slope - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, slippery, slope, approval, database, cosmetic, surgery, insult

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body

Filled Bathtub To The Attic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Filled Bathtub To The Attic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, bathtub, home, weekend, water, attic, chimney

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i forgot i was filling my bathtub and went away for the weekend. now my house is full of water all the way to the attic. i don't know what to do. wally: try putting a hose in the chimney and sucking.

Wally Has Skills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, robot, design, skills

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, your performance is substandard. wally: give me a great performance review, or else i'll design a robot that will take your job. boss: you could do that? wally: i have the skills. i just don't like to use them.